I’ve distanced myself from #everyone since you left. I know it’s not fair. I know that there are some sincere hearts out there trying to love me, to be honest there are many #people who fight for my attention, some guys who would do #everything just to have me by their side, but I just physically can’t to let them come close. Don’t take this as an overacted valuation. On the contrary, I’ve lost all the self-confidence I’ve #built step by step. The only question eating me alive was: why? Wasn’t I pretty enough? #Smart enough? #Skinny enough? Funny enough?
Why did you think that leaving could be the only solution, wasn’t what we had worth fighting? Was it just me? Did I love you #alone?... I couldn’t sleep at #nights.
I was bursting in tears, #scrolling through your feed, checking if you’ve met some other people, stalking the girls in sexy bikinis and perfect bodies with your likes on their pictures. I’ve destroyed myself thinking I wasn’t someone “suitable” for your #criteria.
But you know what? It wasn’t me or my looks, because you were the one who couldn’t keep his promise. You were the one who “fell in love” with me first, remember? You made me feel that our #relationship was important and I feel extremely proud that I fight for #things I take responsibilities of!
I can’t say I #love you to someone and then disappear like my words were inessential. I fight for love. I fight for people I care for. I do my best and I will never regret the way I persisted through hardest of obstacles.
I’m proud of my #emotions and my ability to love.
And I feel sorry for you and your #temporary, frivolous choices. I feel sorry that you don’t respect yourself enough to believe in your decisions. I feel sorry that you’ll always find an easy solution and run away. I’m sure you’ll do this to the girl you’re #dating now too. Because you are not strong enough and for fucks sake, I was.
I’ve distanced myself from everyone because I need to #rebuild myself gradually, step by #step, and one day, when I’ll forget the words you didn’t say, I’ll be okay and I’ll be ready to fight for my miracle #again.