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by @fightingdepressionwithphoto

Every week my therapist says I’m safe. I tell him I have suicidal thoughts everyday. When the pain becomes too disorienting I still cut myself. Recurring images of a woman screaming haunts my dreams. I wish a bus would hit me when I cross the street so my loved ones won’t think it’s their fault. What’s really depressing though, is that this is how I feel on a good day... Every week my therapist says my suicidal thoughts are less severe. I tell him my depression assessment PHQ-9 score have been 25 out of 27 every month. If I scored this high 5 years ago I’ll get dragged to the ER. Now, it’s just another Tuesday...Every week my therapist says my meds are working. I tell him I have a funhouse full of side effects. They make me stumble during the day like I’ve been drinking all night. An acid fire burns in my gut and everything I swallow tries to climb back out. Eating meals are as fun as doing my taxes. My bad habits have stopped but so have my good habits. It’s like quitting smoking by sewing my lips together... Every week my therapist says I’m sleeping better. I tell him my eyes are half closed during the day but wide open at night. I never fall asleep before midnight and wake back up at 3am, like an alarm in my body I can’t turn off. I get so bored each night waiting for the sun to rise... Every week my therapist says I’m recovering. I tell him I don’t know what that means anymore. I’m so used to being depressed that it would feel unnerving not to. The only 2 things that make me extremely happy nowadays are mania and psychosis. My symptoms have molded together with my character. Can I still call depression an illness if it becomes life itself?... Every week my therapist says change is coming. That life will never be stagnant. That the further the pendulum swings towards misery, the sooner it’ll reverse in the opposite direction. That if I just hang in there for another week things will be different... Every week I still believe what he says...
What does your therapist say?
#mentalhealthawareness #bwportrait #depressionrecovery #endthestigma #writerscommunity #storytellers #tellyourstory #shortstory #poetry #writersofig #ptsdawareness #blackandwhiteportrait

New York, New York

by @carolinedgauthier

Je viens de boire ma dernière gorgée chaude de vin blanc. Ça c'est comme le café chaud... ça arrive (parfois) que tu le tete longtemps ton verre de vin. En me levant de table j'ai ramassé les rognons d'ongles de mes enfants que j'avais coupés, avant leur dodo. J'ai été un peu à boutte toute la journée, gracieuseté de mon SPM et des nuits trop courtes de la dernière semaine, à cause des microbes des kids. Mais là, ils vont mieux mes tout ptits. Ils ont passé la journée à s'obstiner. C'est positif, right!?! Tout ça pour dire que, malgré tout, même si je me suis accordée le droit d'être plus slow aujourd'hui, j'ai rocké ma journée.
Et surtout, je la termine en faisant quelque chose que je n'aurais jamais osé/pensé (mais que j'ai sûrement déjà rêvé) faire.
Je finis ça digne d'une maman à la maison/entrepreneure/artisane/grande rêveuse/celle qui se dit why not-si t'essaies pas tu ne le sauras pas.

Je pensais que ça allait être une journée de marde à cause de mon humeur de marde (salutations à mes hormones).
Finalement, en m'accordant un peu de douceur, ça sent la rose pis je me love dans un monde de licornes en rêvant à ce que JE le veux bien.
C'est ben mieux que de cultiver de la marde.

Pis je me suis dis, pourquoi pas encore publier un selfie de ma face, même si je l'ai fait récemment.
Vla un #selfie!


by @mckjames

even with a broken arm, @brentparolin still climbs a ladder to pose on my roof


by @maddyraephoto

A favorite of some of my favorite people on earth. From series: family ties.

Southside, Waltham

by @monmonomnom

Así como que no me doy cuenta. #bwportrait


by @lucy.magdalene

Greetings, ghouls. Anyone in Portland, Maine? Seems like there’s not much of a model/photographer scene up there. I’m planning to stay up there after Boston and Salem on the 24th. Mainly to explore, not necessarily for work. But if anyone is in that area and would like to work with me, I’ll have some time. Get in contact with me. Image shot by the always wonderful Alex Nason.

#sombrebw #bwportrait
#sombrebeings #flair_bw