Throughout the entirety of our 13 year #marriage , I despised the words "my #wife ". It felt impersonal, possessive, and they caused a lot of resentment, whatever the spoken intent. I don't want to refer to Andrew as "my ex #husband " though on paper, it is what it is. Or will be soon.
Andrew was also a hard, intense #lover in many ways. And a fighter... #father to my #children inevitably, a #relationship I would have liked to cultivate the rest of my #life ; someday he may be ready to do so, and I pray I will too. Every. Single. Day. The world wasn't the same since the day we met at 12 and 13 years old; he said he wanted to marry me when we were only children.
Over the years, we went through ups and downs of any #human relationship through a filter that did not fit us. Amazing children of our own, houses, a red picket fence; our closed doors had so much going on behind them. We were both denying a simple fact that I am #gay , aside from many years of our own #skeletons and #falsehood . #acceptance has delivered me to a level of #connectivity with my soul I never saw coming, though not with each other... And it's still intense. Once in#embraced myself, after many roller coaster years, it was simply unequivocal to anything we were able to give each other as husband and wife. This was not forever in the way he thought, and not sustainable in the way I held on to for so long.
The day I was no longer afraid was one of the best and worst days we ever had. I would also not #change it for the world. The faces of #divorce , don't have to be angry. But sometimes they are that and worse...all it took was the one (large, albeit relative) life-changing bump that forced me to start moving forward on my path to a more honest life, and free my family. And I'm thankful EVERY day I followed it. The rest is far from inconsequential, but is over now.
Please say prayers for us. ❤️ #loveis #grateful #lovemylife #buildingbridges #loveislove #childrenfirst #blessedarethecracked #