Do you trust yourself?
To take care of yourself?
To know what you need?
To hold your boundaries?
To intimately know your heart’s longings?
Trusting myself is much less of a struggle now. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Although,sometimes, I can still feel the controlling energy creeping up in me,
can feel an almost seductive pull to start dominating,
forcing my way,
to believe the idealism that I can control my environment and thus have power over my powerlessness,
if I can just just be smart/strong/logical/good/deserving enough. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When I feel the struggle in my body, my contradictory needs + splits scuffling with each other, I notice, watch + let pass. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Through this awareness, I can honor necessary changes, that hold both my met + unmet needs with compassionate awareness. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sometimes the pressure to want to know, to rebel against the Unknown, fills me with an urgency that threatens to diminish a more optimal outcome that requires watching + waiting, with patience + grace. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am working on surrender. On accepting what is. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’m letting my heart long, without resisting it. I notice where I feel my powerlessness, and rather than trying to control it, have compassion for myself + others.
Trust in my ability to take care of myself, honor my precious vessel, hear my fears, know my wants, has cultivated more spaciousness, peace, + happiness in my body than I ever felt by trying to put trust in others before trust in myself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“there is you and you.
this is a relationship.
this is the most important relationship.”
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