My understanding of God has changed so much over the last few years. After a miscarriage, preemie baby, postpartum depression, the following identity crisis, my introduction to panic attacks, and many more not so ideal things, I was struggling to see God as a Father who was always out for my good or my happiness. I struggled with it for months. I loved God, but I didn't like Him. In the last few months, He has brought me to a new understanding of Him. He has shown me that instead of asking for things I should ask Him for heart changes. He can provide comfort. He can bring new perspective. He can always help with those things even when His plan is doesn't fit what I'd like it to be. That doesn't mean I don't pray and talk to Him about everything. I do. It just means that sometimes I take the skills and heart He gave me and work to make changes in my life and in the world without waiting or expecting it to miraculously happen. That doesn't mean He can't do anything and everything. It just means that He gave me this life to act and move and do. Sometimes, His answer comes through the work I'm able to do to help myself and others. And throughout that process, He works in me to see the best in every situation. A God-directed perspective makes any circumstance appear purposeful. For me, this understanding of God has led me to a deeper relationship with Him. It took a while, but He always brings me back.
Photo by: Bernd Schulz