I knew the negative thoughts were untrue and didn't understand why they surfaced at all. I didn't use them did I, to fight a war of my own making, I wondered and looked deep for an honest answer. No, I didn't merely use them as pawns in my wanted war with the gang members that I dispised for their wrong begot power. I could candidly say no. You had done it out of necessity. If they were to live here those men had to die. Yet sometimes I even doubted yourself. I walked towards the group with you head held high.
Margret holding a crying twin under each arm said to us all, "what have we done?" There was a pause as the event sunk in for them. I was the one to break the silence. "We protected ourselves. They came to rob us and murder us. We did what we had to and one of us died and we have an injured waiting for our help. Our life isn't pretty, but we are good people. We killed the bad, the destroyers of normalcy. Don't cry for those motherfuckers. They would have raped and killed you. We protected ourselves. We defended ourselves. No, you all should be happy, for today we won!" I gave my best speech. "I am sorry," she said lowering her head. "Don't be sorry either Margret, be victorious. It is okay to have feelings. It is what make you good people," I said in an uplifting voice. "Would you help with Jim. He's in a bad way," I requested. Her and the girls went to Jim wiping their faces of sorrow. This experience will harden them I knew. John has kept them safe thus far, but sheltered for the evils of their world. I wasn't sure which was better.
You didn't dare move Jim for he was terribly wounded and a move could shift something killing him. His inability was key in knowing just how bad off he was. You were sure he wouldn't make it, but you would try all in your power to save the young man.
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