20/9 - Hi guys! I know I don’t update as often I should, which is sad I know. But honestly, I made this Instagram so I could look back on my sickness with progress and pride. However? I don’t feel like I am getting anywhere. I don’t mean to make this post all depressing and sad. I have not lost my hope or faith that one day I will get better... but I have gotten very weary and tired of this road.
Every time I feel like I’m getting somewhere, I’m only lead two steps back. I can’t believe that I’ve been on dialysis for almost 3 years. 3 years. I’m not going to lie, I learned so much by being sick. I found myself through my sickness, my faith grew stronger and so did I as a person. Hadn’t it been for my sickness, I wouldn’t have found out that I wanted to be a teacher. I wouldn’t have stopped being afraid. Through my sickness I learned to accept the situation, the pain and most importantly my journey through this awful disease. I found out who were really my friends and by my side and those who weren’t.
This sickness taught me so much about myself, my journey and my life in general. I am forever grateful because I won’t ever make the same mistake that put me in dialysis in the first place. Because as much as this journey taught me, it also taught me how much I don’t want this. I want to be able to work as a teacher. I want to able to study to become a teacher. I want to be able to be free and decide what I want to do every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and not be bound to a machine. I want to travel to USA. I have so many things I wish to do. But am I able to? No, because I’m bound to a machine. 3 times a week for 15 hours.
I want the life I used to know back. I’m so tired of battling and dealing with high blood pressure. It keeps pushing me back and off from getting that kidney. I just need God so badly now. Because I really feel like I’m at the bottom. Please lift me back up God, give me the strength you know I so badly need. #kidneydisease #kidneytransplant #kidneyfailure #kidneydonor #kidney #dialysis #dialysislife #doctor #medicine #medicalstudent #chronicillness #butyoudontlooksick #healthjourney #invisibleillness #spoonie #spoonielife #bloods