If I had to describe myself, I'd say that I am an introvert. I've always been shy, quiet and a little socially awkward. I prefer being alone and get anxious when I have to socialize with a lot of people for a long time. But I'd never really thought much about it until recently. On Friday, I went to a first year semi-formal, hosted by my university faculty. I was never the kind of girl that went out much, and I'd never been to semi in high school. But oddly enough, I was pretty excited! It was a beautiful venue, I had a little black dress that I was excited to wear, and I was ready to have a good time. But the closer it got to actually having to leave the house, the more anxious I got.
I've always been a homebody, creature of habit, wallflower...whatever you want to call it. But I really thought that night I would take some risks, let loose a little and have fun. In reality, I just stuck with the few friends I had become close with over the last few months and we spent the night taking pictures and talking about Harry Potter and Jane the Virgin. And I did have a lot of fun!
But a part of me is - and will always be - jealous of the girls who can be the life of the party, and are always a social butterfly. Because in some ways, that's who I aspire to be. I'm the kind of person who is crazy and sporadic when I'm around people I've been friends with for years, but as soon as I'm around people I dont know, I crawl back to my shell.
I know that a part of me will always be a little shy and introverted, because that's just who I am, and I love that part of me too. But I dont want to hold myself back from meeting new people and experiencing new things. So although it's late, my New Year's resolution is to work on being a more care-free and in the moment kind of person so that I can be spontaneous, seize opportunities and make my dreams come true.
Until next time
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