TRIGGER WARNING FOR PEOPLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES.
I randomly picked this card for my meditation practice this morning. And it served as a loud reminder that everything I seek, is already within me. Then it reminded me of when I was going through my own divorce and how unworthy of love I had felt at the time.
I had gotten married really young and at the time, I thought they were the right reasons. My marriage quickly went downhill and I did everything, I mean EVERYTHING in my power to save it and have my ex love me again.
I had lost so much of myself in the process of saving my marriage that I didn’t even recognize who I was. I was ready to do and be anything, just so I didn’t get divorced and my son wouldn’t be from a “broken home”. The problem was that the marriage broke me. So much so that I wanted to end my life. I became so depressed and had suicidal thoughts all the time. I would lay in bed and contemplate the how and the when, making sure my 1 year old son would be taken care of. It was bad guys. I was in a VERY DARK PLACE for a LONG TIME.
And then one day, I swear, it happened just like this, I said, “fuck this, I deserve to be happy and I’m going to give this baby the best life possible.” I was TIRED of getting my ex to love me. I was DONE with seeking his validation. I was EXHAUSTED trying to make my parents happy. I was READY to love me. I had DECIDED that I’m going to create a life that I could be proud of. I was going to give my son everything he deserved.
So ladies, know that the journey you’re on, isn’t for nothing. You don’t need to earn anyone’s love. The love you seek starts from the love you have for yourself. And to top it off, you can literally shift the entire trajectory of your life by ONE single thought. It’s absolutely insane, but 100% true.
And if you do suffer from mental illness, please seek professional help. I’ve gone through therapy myself and it has truly changed my life.
If you’re READY to SHIFT your thinking and have your heart feel a bit lighter, DM me to learn more about my 3 month 1:1 coaching program.