When we’re reeling from a breakup, we desperately feel the need to have “the talk” with our ex that will make us feel better- the one where our ex takes responsibility for what they’ve done or said that hurt us, the one where we receive an apology, the one that reveals that it was them that was the problem and not us, maybe even the one that reveals he/she still has feelings for us. It would make moving on so much easier and we’d have confirmation that we are lovable, worthwhile, and that all will work out in our favor at the end. Now let’s shift into reality. Regardless of if the talk takes place + goes as you hope, we can still give ourselves the gift of forgiveness for anything we are sorry about. We can remind ourselves of the love that we feel towards ourselves by validating our pain, reflecting on its message + compassionately acknowledging our feelings without judging/criticizing ourselves for being in pain (even if your ex was a complete a**hole!) We can apologize to ourselves for anything we did in that relationship that hurt us or our ex. We can remind ourselves that we are worthy of a healthy relationship. Most importantly, we must remember that we don’t need external validation of any of the above.
We need to give this to ourselves so we are not dependent upon an apology, remorse, etc. for our healing. So that if/when it comes, it’s no longer needed or even wanted.