Warning this may be triggering for some people. But it's too important not to post, so I need to share it. Let's talk about the first photo, taken after I completed treatment. I posted it because it shows me eating in the moment, enjoying the same food I would have never eaten unless it was a ”cheat meal,” or worse, a meal I would have binged on in secrecy and immediately purged after. Now, this brings me to the second photo. (Swipe ) This picture, some may consider it a prettier photo of me than the first. But that's not the point. Looking at it makes me so sad. I was starving inside — restricting, binging and purging anything that wasn't considered ’healthy'. I was starving physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was so hungry that I'm pretty sure I ate all three poutines while the person I was with maybe had a few bites. And after I ate, I had so much shame and guilt, especially because someone witnessed me eating it, I barely spoke to that person ever again. This is wild because for those of you who know me, you know I love my poutine. I love, love, love poutine, but when you eat 3 in one sitting, this is your body trying to tell you something. And I hope everyone can recognize all those feelings within themselves instead of fighting or ignoring it.
I have SO much compassion for myself now, and I hope no one ever feels like how I did on the right. But if you are finding yourself struggling with food and you too need some compassion for yourself, please don't be afraid to reach out. There's a whole community out here who want to help you thrive and help you be your best self, but we know you can't do it if you're obsessing over food.
If you or a loved one are struggling, please don't hesitate to share. And if you see someone else open up, please don't be afraid to reach out to them. Give them some love and encouraging words because we all need support, each and every one of us, and we all deserve love and compassion.