Oh, but what do you do?
What do you do when the daughter you gave up on is better than you? What do you do when the girl you hit and hated for being like you becomes more than you ever could?
What do you do?
You replace her, at first. It helps. They’re not like me, you think; they can’t outdo who I am. They have Values, these new ones, and they can be what the original wasn’t. What I never was.
But you still are That, and so is the girl you hit and replaced. So is the girl that did anything she could to be just like you, just so she could maybe stay your hand. Maybe, maybe she would become something in your eyes if she did everything she was told.
The new ones have fire, too. You don’t understand it. The original girl you left behind is scared but you paste wings to her anyway. She doesn’t know what life is like. She knows hurt and men and taking. It’s all you’ve really taught her.
But then, one day. She grows into the wings you pasted to her. Her broken bones turn from ivory to iron. She can see you, you know. The little thing shriveled up inside you that hurts. The thing that lashed out at her, and put invisible scars on her skin.
She can see you. She can see your sickness in her own skin, you know. She digs at it. She writes it out in ink for blood. So many have put their illness inside her and now she owns all of it. It has made a new kind of armor over her, you know. It has made her strong where it made you weak.
What do you do, when the one you tried to build into a thing like you becomes better than you ever could be?
You pray. [im so sorry now u know
sorry im the one that told u so
sorry, sorry, im sorry, sorry
s i k e]
-copycat, billie eilish
#fathers #happyfuckinfathersday #message #uwontgetit #whatever #uglymug #personal #me #ew