I don't feel like I've spoken any truths for a while. I've been basking gratefully in the brave confessions of others. Here's some I've been thinking:
I've put on weight. I know my body is not considered 'problematic' by bull shit conventional societal standards, but I've put on weight and it makes me uncomfortable.
I have roughly a two week (sometimes one?) Period a month where I am 'ok' with myself. Never happy. Just 'fine' with it. And then I feel like I've 'indulged' (whatever the fuck that's meant to mean) and anxiety creeps in telling me that I don't look good and I'm failing.
Isn't that funny? That I feel like the consumption of a few more cakes a week means I'm some way unsuccessful.
I know why. I'm obviously still trying pay our patriarchal society rent for existing as someone who possesses a vagina. It doesn't matter that I'm not a 'problem' body as thought conventionally by society (although, in the eyes of some men and, indeed, some womyn, my body is one that does not meet standards of traditional femininity), I still feel it. It lives with me. I carry it around. I'm in dialogue (or, rather, argument) with it every day.
I hope if you're reading this, you'll know that as a womyn, living the lives we do, I am with you. Whatever your version of anxiety looks like, about whatever feminine standards are being pressed upon you, I am with you. I hope that as with other feminist consciousness raisings, reading this from another womyn brings you comfort. Makes you feel solidarity. Sets you on fire.
#sisters #anxiety #patriarchy #sexism #sexualviolence #metoo #sexist #feminist #feministkilljoy #feminism