We received quite a few messages from y’all curious why we wanted a second opinion so quickly moving from our first failed IVF cycle into our second round (FET). Many of you shared that you have thought about seeing a second doctor, but unsure when the right time was, so I wanted share why we did sooner than later.
Now, I’ll be honest, we chose our first clinic purely out of convenience. Living in NW Indiana, we didn’t have many options in our immediate area, except going into Chicago (1.5-2 hr drive), so the Chicago group we picked was the only one with a branch location in IN about an hour away. The team was kind, but from the beginning there was always a little piece of me that felt off about them. Then throughout the process there were many times that those feelings were validated. For example, the mass cycle approach was not for me (I didn’t feel like a patient but rather a number) and they would send my daily updates with other women’s info left on it or wrong numbers (since they just copy and paste on a generic form). We weren’t able to speak with an embryologist at all, my nurse never knew answers and told me statistics aren’t important, and for all first time cases they use the standard meds list period, never altering it since it’s your first time. The kicker was when Alex wasn’t allowed to be in the room for the transfer (which is pretty much unheard of these days), and when they gave us our embryo photo it was extremely poor quality, cut crooked and covered in tape. They couldn’t even tell me which embryos were being transferred. And then, not even 30 minutes passed finding out the transfer failed, I received the pricing plan for a FET, and the doctor said he did not want a f/u appointment because I just had bad luck. I could go on, but you get the point.
I think it’s important that whether it’s your first cycle or your fifth that we need to trust our gut and heart, and make decisions based on experiences, regardless of how deep we are into it with a doctor/practice.