(please read the entire post)
I pass a sign everyday outside of Wenninghoff on my way home that says “Thank you God for...”
I haven’t felt very thankful lately as Shawn and I have been through some very unfortunate events.
After well over a year of trying, Shawn and I got a positive pregnancy test on October 31.... on November 21 we went in for my first ultrasound and did not hear or see the baby. Crushed by the news and not feeling very thankful we cancelled our Thanksgiving plans. (So sorry to any family members that thought we were being distant, we were just grieving)
We had a second ultrasound on November 30th confirming that I had an ectopic pregnancy (our baby was growing in my tube, making it inviable). I went through one unsuccessful treatment of methotrexate, and ended up losing one of my tubes in surgery last Wednesday.
Trying to cope with a loss of what was and what may never be, has been so so difficult and made it really hard for me to be thankful.
BUT after driving home from the hospital for the millionth time, today I realized what all I have to be thankful for. My very supportive family that has been so concerned and loving during this very difficult time. With such a dangerous condition as Ectopic Pregnancy I’m lucky that things didn’t go worse than they did, and my work for being so understanding and helpful during my time off for recovery.
Mostly I’m thankful for Shawn for being my shoulder to lean on during my weakest time. As he is grieving with a loss as well, he has made putting a smile on my face a priority. I wish I would of never had to go through this, but since I did, I’m glad I had him by my side.
Just a reminder to anyone else going through infertility or a loss, you are not alone.