You betrayed me. .
I dissociated myself from my body bc I was angry. It became flabby & covered itself with too much weight. My Ed recovery was not supposed to make me fat. .
The messages I’ve learned have instilled fear, shame, and further insisted on my dissociation from my body. Your body is bad, from your body comes desires of the flesh. Your body is not acceptable. Your body deserves punishment. .
But the dissociation was merely an obsession in disguise. My mind working in overdrive to protect myself from threat, judgment, rejection. .
What if I was to embrace my body? .
What if I were to proclaim, I AM a body. Rather than, I HAVE a body.
Identify as body rather than just spirit & mind that inhabit it. .
God created us mind BODY & spirit. .
I am beginning a journey to explore the idea, I am a body. Feeling my body interconnected with my spirit & mind. Getting into my body in connection with creation and God. .
My body is longing for my acknowledgement. It’s craving the attention of my body. Yes, my body craving the attention of my body. It’s received attention but only from my mind. Attention which has not begotten affection.
My body is asking I step into it, take a dive into my skin, swim around in the tissue, allow curiosity to compel the exploration of my muscles, nerves. Perhaps the thoughtful affections would follow if I entered through the underground route. .
Dissociating from my body thwarted a pile of lies into my head space. As if my mind wasn't already over occupied! This created distrust, dissension, and even hatred between two parts of my being. I think this breaks God’s heart. .
Perhaps associating w/ my body would help set my mind free. Perhaps embracing my body as an integral part of my design would transform the way I saw myself & my relationship to my creator. Perhaps embodiment would help rebuild the damaged lines within me. .
I am shape. I am sexual. I am body. I am God’s creation. .
What are your thoughts?! Do you relate?
Let’s dialogue! share below👇🏼😊