I’m going to attempt to be as real as I can with y’all.
I’ve talked about my struggles with depression and anxiety before, and currently I am struggling a lot and believe it or not it has little to do with graduate school (that has been a beautiful and liberating experience), and more to do with new and old heart wounds being opened wide by circumstances beyond my control. At @new_abbey_church this last weekend @britbarron talked about how sometimes for the hopeless, the wounded, the hurting, that the hope and joy Christmas can feel like something distant, that we are disqualified from participating in. That hit me like a wave, cuz right now? Hope and joy is not something I am full of. But then Brit said something profound, “without wounds there is no healing, and without the feeling of hopelessness there is no hope. What you think disqualifies you from participating in the hope of Christmas, is the very thing that qualifies you.” I have sat in the weight of my deep sadness and the many griefs that have attempted to drown me more times than I can count, and there is always hope and growth on the other side of it all. I’m choosing in this pain to let you all in a bit, because I know many are in the same space I’m in. Life is hard. But it’s in the gravity of our ache that we are made into someone and something we never knew we could be. / photo by @emilym.photographer
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