I • L o v e • A u t u m n
I love that God made a season which literally mirrors the truth that the death of something can be so, so beautiful.
Recently God has brought death to my own sense of self-sufficiency. Ever been slapped in the face with the reality of your own weakness?! I have, these past few weeks. The facade of my ability to hold others up in a super-hero style, to inspire others with wise words and an unwavering faith, and to be everything to everyone, has come tumbling down in the reality of a wavering heart, confusion, and a great, great need for Him.
And yet, as I start to walk out of doubt and understand what He's been doing, i'm thankful.
I'm thankful because I've re-realised that -
• I am not Him •
• He is not me •
I can't take His place. I don't have His ability, His wisdom, His sovereignty or His love. I don't have His capacity. But He doesn't expect me to. He instead asks me to trust, as a child does to a good, good Father. And to embrace the fact that I am a child. He is my dad. He is in charge.
The death of my self sufficiency allows me the freedom to relax into this identity, and it's as bright and beautiful (and painful) as the colours of these dying leaves