Jan 2017~ And I thought I was big then 🙈 Before I was put on Seroquel, after my second diagnosis.
I felt a bit more comfy in myself, self love is definitely a journey.
YOU WILL NOT FIND PERFECTION, YOU CANNOT HAVE SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT EXIST.
I was Anorexic when I was younger, but not because I thought I was “fat”, but a need for control, because my mind was sick.
Coming out the other side of it, was not straight forward, the weight then crept up on me, because I couldn’t stop eating, I was soo malnourished, I can still envision me, it was scary stuff.
I didn’t feel confident with my weight gain, I would hide myself in baggy clothes for a good few years, it was like if I hid it, then it didn’t exist.
It was only after having kids, that my image didn’t seem soo important, because I had kids to look after, post pregnancy the added weight just fell off.
I was small, but still had a hint of “I’m too big” but looking back now that I have a diagnosis, my issues have always been with me, it wasn’t the media, or bullies, or cause I thought I was fat, ITS BECAUSE I HAVE A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE.
I can certainly see how society can skew our perceptions, it’s everywhere, but I am not one of them, that has fallen victim to Anorexia because of images that just aren’t real.
I want others to know that “perfection IS NOT REAL, ITS ALL LIES to our very eyes, and minds.
ITS OK TO LOOK DIFFERENT, WE ARE SUPPOSED TO, IF WE ALL LOOKED THE SAME, THAT WOULD BE TOO DAMN FREAKY.
IMAGES ARE “MONEY MAKERS, THAT IS ALL, BE PROUD OF YOU, AND WHO YOU ARE, AND IT DOES NOT JUST INCLUDE HOW WE LOOK ON THE OUTSIDE.
LOVING OURSELVES FROM THE INSIDE IS WHERE IT STARTS, IT IS FUCKING HARD, BUT ITS SOO GOD DAMN BEAUTIFUL ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️