So last night a scary thought came in my head. That is that I have the power in me to be bad, to be cruel, to sin. I instantly became filled with fear and self-hatred. I started looking at my hands, saying "No! I wanna be good; I wanna do good things, I don't want to use my power maliciously." I went to bed with this. Morning came but the thoughts remained. But then I shook out my mind; I coaxed myself, because I realized that just as I have the power to be bad, I have the power to fight those urges and be good. "Be strong Kanchan, not scared - it's not like you to feel the latter." This led me to reflecting on a conversation I had with my brother the same night - prior to these thoughts. He talked about the importance of having faith so strong, your behaviour towards it is irrational. Faith is what gives life meaning- whatever your faith is put towards. We talked about altrusim, and how it's not a simple act, but rather a way of life formed by habit through time. And how even if by doing good, a portion of the motivation behind it is selfish - that it's OK. Because at the end of the day, you're doing good - and if you can maximize that feeling to include yourself, as one part of the universe, is it really then, truly selfish? So I'll tread along, trying to do good and be good and think, say, and hear good. And maybe, a habit will form where it'll be second nature to use my power for things that bring nothing but light and love. Until then, I may falter but I won't fall from the strength I've been gifted by the universe.
Thanks for the conversation broski, luh u @jmuti54
PC: @kirtbir -
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