The tears of an exhausted mama #CantCryPretty
Not the best picture. Crying my eyes out, partially due to sleep deprivation & the crazy womanly hormones. But it made me think about all the other mama’s and wives out there struggling with herself. I lead to inspire through my day to day. So here it goes.... There are many things I’m not proud of as a mom & as a wife. This morning was one of them. I didn’t get much sleep Wednesday night so leading into last night, I had hopeful thoughts but my kids had different plans. Jackson up again all night - Kimberly up at 4:00. After Jackson waking again at 5:00, why go back to bed? I grabbed my workout clothes, closed the bedroom door instantly filled with jealousy watching my husband snooze away. My heart said he needs it as he’s worked all week but my head wasn’t in the same place. I instantly became negative. Jackson fell back asleep and I got my preworkout in and sat down to do my devotion to bring peace to my morning. Then I planned on doing my workout to release these negative vibes, always helps! But, once again, my little man had different plans. So up he was, played with him, bathed him, got him all ready for the day. Then Kimberly woke up and my husband. I instantly was filled with anxiety and frustration. I just wanted my me time, my workout. I usually do ok moving on in my day and just getting it in later but today - I was negative. My husband graciously hugged me and apologized for my lack of sleep. Filled with jealousy again I hugged back but not lovingly. I knew he was getting ready to leave for golf and although my heart was excited for him, my head said “not fair” like a little three year old. He didn’t do anything wrong but I treated him like sh*t before he had to take off. I wasn’t mad at him, I was purely jealous and I let my tired brain get the best of me. I snapped at Kimberly when she threw a toy at Jackson. I put her on timeout, which was needed, but probably acting out because mama wasn’t being the happy chipper person she needed this morning.
This morning I let the negative get the best of me. Days are not always easy. But we get to CHOOSE our day. I’m choosing JOY. Goodbye negativity