I’m so very thankful for having a fiancé who doesn’t make me feel bad about my daily struggle with anxiety. Who is trying his best to understand this with me. Who knows that even though I’m super excited to marry him next year, he realizes that anxiety triggers can also happen when the person is too happy, as silly as that sounds, theres a lot of emotions associated with being engaged & wedding planning. And pressure from those around us to get married SOON. but WE understand that this isn’t about throwing a party, this is US (UDAY & SHEA) committing ourselves to each other forever. & we are going to do it on our terms. My fiancé recently said,” I need your health to get better. I can’t marry you if you’re dead.” And that really hit me hard & made me fall more in love with his caring heart. So we’ve decided to narrow our focus on our education & getting jobs & THEN start planning because that’s what’s best for US. Now that i am only four days away from starting my new corporate job. I feel like I can breathe better than ever because things are finally looking up in my life. For a whole YEAR I had a lot of guilt of not having a job straight out of college like my other classmates did. I didn’t do internships because I knew i could financially afford to take 3 summer classes than 7 classes in fall/spring. Overtime, I started to question my skills and abilities, my decisions, my journey, my major & blaming myself more & more. I even had family members that made me feel bad for being jobless & broke. And who gave me terrible advice. There were some who questioned my decisions when I turned down job offers therefore creating doubt. but I flipped it on everyone & myself because I came back strong and reminded myself that I AM STRONG, INTELLIGENT, DESERVING, WORTHY, CAPABLE, DETERMINED & LOVED by the most Almighty. So I prayed, “God there are people in my life who do not understand my vision nor know my needs & I ask for courage to walk away from them. Help me block out their voices AND mine so I can hear O N L Y yours. I know i’m broke but I am rich in your love. What I lack in you fulfill. I am blessed beyond measure and I thank you for my future job. Amen."