#midweekmessage // releasing stories about the pain we hold frees us from the past // .
I received a flash of insight while preparing dinner tonight. It involved a childhood wound, a specific pain that I’ve used to justify certain things in the present. Now, I think I’ve pretty much cleaned up the initial wound itself with those involved, but the result of its’ after-effects do come up from time to time. In the next flash, I realized how insignificant + irrelevant that old wound is, including the story around how it affects me today — because fortunately I’ve progressed so far away from it. Truthfully, there doesn’t have to be a connection between “pain” and “current result” if I don’t want there to be. .
I’m an adult now with a roof over my head. Food on the table. I experience happiness and fulfillment. I’ve done the work and continue on my self-healing journey. My life is good, not perfect by any means, but have no excuse anymore to allow the past to inhibit me in anyway. When I think of those that grew up in war-torn countries, or underwent horrific treatment, my problems seem to pale in comparison, unworthy of being used as a crutch for what is lacking. There is no need to cling onto this particular story anymore as an excuse whenever conversation triggers it. All that does is disempower by allowing old trauma to hold me back when I’m perfectly capable of facing it on my own now. It’s about first acknowledging then overcoming the shadow of a situation, not becoming further entangled in it. .
I’m not trying to diminish my own pain or anyone else’s but just put things into clearer perspective for myself — realistically, the only person holding me back now is me, by a story I’ve been wrapped up in for so long. Although true and unfortunate, I’m better off freeing myself from the sludge of the past + stories that keep me drowning in quicksand. Because I am capable now of handling this in a better way. For me, this lightning quick vision brought much clarity into seeing things in the moment + shifting from victimhood to victor mentality. .
image via @yung_pueblo