To sum up my 2018 in a picture, I choose this one. 2018 was an extremely confusing year. It was a year of intense growth and immense losses. Some losses, I will never be able to recover from, and some, I will reverse in due time.
2018 filled me with a kind of rage I never thought I had in me to live with. Of anger that shot through my bones and set itself deep in my soul. Burning, aching, enduring.
2018 was all about courage and of the times I didn't show even an ounce of it.
2018 gave me an irreplaceable marriage I hold most dear. And a husband I miss quite terribly if we're apart for even just an hour.
2018 was about love. And so much love. And so many people who taught me what love is and what love absolutely isn't.
2018 was about letting go of battles.
2018 was an act of war.
From a creative perspective, 2018 was a complete waste, all because I spent most of it drowning in other people's insecurities.
2018 was realizing I'm worth the fight.
2018 was about getting wounded by someone else's sword, and stitching myself back up.
2018 was about the utterly breathtaking realization that I'm a good fucking woman, and I don't need anything else except my own will to make this life what I want it to be.
2018 was about realizing that I will never be a success in the eyes of a failure.
2018 was about realizing that you cannot fight someone's prejudices against you, or their inability to love you.
2018 was all about hitting back. Of fighting, of silently planning your rescue.
2018 was about jumping in the ocean thinking I had a safety vest only to realize it was faulty, but all I had to do was kick my damn self out of the water.
2018 taught me the value of staying quiet and boiling a revolution inside.
2018 cost me my sanity, exhausted my soul, stretched my limits, robbed me of my dreams.
2018 gave me so much - a hidden sword inside me I had all along, battle ready, and a hunger for a better life than the one I left behind.
I failed myself this year. But I'm so grateful for this year.
2019, I'll see you soon.
2018, thank you for the memories.
"Here's to all the places we went, and all the places we'll go."
"Here's looking at you, kid." #2018 #lettinggo