When I blankly stare into space
And stop speaking up in a conversation,
When my mouth hangs slightly open
And my gaze is empty,
They all know it's about you.
They say I'm still in love with you
But I'm not so sure.
I'm not sure because it still hurts,
But on most days, I'm just fine.
I forget about you completely.
It's in the most innocent moments,
The ones that normally don't mean anything,
That I remember.
When I take a walk in the forest
And kick up some stray leaves,
When I go to work in the morning
And drive past that ice cream parlour,
When I pick up your name on tv or in a conversation I overhear.
I think of what could have been when I shouldn't,
I think of what I did wrong when I did a lot of things right.
My friends say i'm still in love with you
But it's been four years.
I've met other people,
I put my heart on the line and had it broken
And yet my thoughts circle back to you.
It's been four years and I've moved on
But I haven't.
What do I do if this doesn't ever go away?
What if five years from now I'm with someone else and you've been lurking in the back of my mind all this time catching me off guard with another memory whenever I'm close to forgetting about you?
What if I ran into you then, five years from now?
Honestly, Idk what I'd do.
I want to tell my friends they're wrong,
I want to tell them I'm not in love with you,
But I can't.
So I say, "Yes.
It's about him.
It'll always be about him."
//I need some time in which I don't think about you
. . .
Beautiful artwork by @bezt_etam