So beyond grateful to love what I do.
This work of being let into the lives of people is a ridiculous and utterly precious gift. I know deep in my bones that there is no other work that I could love this much.
That said, even in the midst of simply adoring all of it, there are still moments where insecurity or uncertainty shows up here.
I was researching recently when I noticed frustration and self-doubt sitting quite close. I was feeling discouraged that I haven't yet learned all the things, and was longing to be able to move in new directions that are presently out of reach. Deeply wishing for the sake of those I work with that I could know more.
The "not enough" story got close. The flawed logic that says, "Because you don't know that yet then you aren't good enough right now," emerged. And for a moment I forgot that I was allowed to be human. That I'm allowed to learn, and grow, and take my time to become all of that I will one day be.
For a moment the expectations that I held where too much, unreasonable, excessive. When I stopped to reflect on how far I have come, and all the things that make up my life in this present moment, I realized that I've done all that I can do, and I gave myself permission to keep growing.
Remembering that there really is no arrival, that there isn't one point in which we stop growing and changing and becoming. There'll always be more to learn, there'll always be more we could know, and there will always be more that we could do. But that reality doesn't erase the good and the worthwhileness of all that is in this moment.
There will be more. And it will be amazing. But right now is also enough.
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