I still remember the first time you walked in to my room. The lights were dim, and I could hardly see your face. You walked closer to me, and from the corner of my eyes, I could see your face, almost as red as mine. There was something different about you. Something so unique, that it almost felt like a movie scene. You held my hand and whispered into my ears,
"By God, you're beautiful." I don't know why I started writing this letter to you. It could be the immense frustration that has built up inside me for all these years. Or it could be the desire to run away from this place and begin everything in a new way, all over again, undo the last few terrible years of my life. And at the same time, it could be my helplessness that is making me write this to you, because I know I can't do the things I just wrote above.
How are you? Do you still think of me sometimes when you are lying quietly on your bed beside the window, thinking of all the mistakes you have made or the tears you have shed over them? Do I cross your mind when you hear my favourite song and the way I sometimes danced away to it, only to watch you smile? No. I don't need an answer from you, because in my head, yes you do. And in my head, you still love me, just the same.
We have spent such wonderful moments inside this room. We have made love to the tunes of country numbers and you have taught me how to braid my hair, the way your mother used to, before she passed away. I taught you new recipes for breakfast, to make sure you do not skip meals before office. You gifted me a brand new phone on my birthday. It didn't last long in my hand but by god you had made me the happiest. I had always wanted one of those phones where you can see each other from miles apart, and watching you moving around in the inside of a five inch screen was one of my favourite things in the world, after the glimmering glow of your dark blue eyes. I had always wondered how you had such pretty pair of blue eyes, and how sometimes I even envied you for having them. I don't envy you anymore. How I wish I could see those blue eyes staring at me, just one more time.