My Dirty Secret
I'm in love with a man I know not to love
his heart will never be free.
I waste my days, a slave to his ways
knowing he will never love me.
Hopelessly hooked on him like a drug
wanting him day and night.
I play his dirty game.....I have no shame
taking it all, knuckles white.
Dead is the conscience I knew so well
and morals.....they ran far away.
Clarity now blurry in a love-drunk slurry-
the 'good me' has gone astray.
A fool for punishment, I beg for more
even if all I am worthy of is shit.
Loving him breaks me.....it overtakes me-
but I'm not willing to quit.
I die a little more with each passing day
until again, I get lost in those eyes....
All doubt goes away, so for now I'll stay
living this life of lies.