Yesterday during counseling I was able to tell my counselor about something that happened to me last Friday. Which I can say that took a toll on my overall well being. I am simply getting this off my chest since to me personally this gives me the sense that I am in control of the situation which at the end of the day is super helpful for me. Another aspect of the session was that I was able to understand a bit more about what it is that has made me super depressed lately; that aspect is the fact that I feel incomplete without Oso. It's quite unusual for someone to come into your life and change it completely making himself so necessary for one's survival. Well, I can say that he did exactly that. Maybe deep inside I am still holding on to an ounce of hope that one day he will come back to me. One of the things that I've been told by him was "I don't want to be both the problem and the solution", but in reality isn't that the way in which situations like this work? Is it fair for him to think that way? or is it fair for me to go through all of this?
The only way in which I can describe this feeling right now is by using a quote from Frida Kahlo which says “No quiero un amor a medias, rasgado, partido a la mitad, he luchado y sufrido tanto que me merezco algo entero, intenso, indestructible (I don't want a halfway love, torn, broken in half because I've fought and suffered a lot that I deserve something complete, intense and indestructible.)"
Who knows maybe one day I'll be able to find out if all of this has been worth it.
#thoughts #couseling #oso #quotes #fridakahlo #friday #atx #queer #latristeza #latinx