#relapse

Instagram photos and videos

#relapse#depression#anxiety#mentalillness#anorexia#recovery#panicattack#edfamily#anorexiarecovery#socialanxiety#unexplainablefeeling#recoverywarrior#fdoe#depressed#mentalhealthawareness#endthestigma#mentalhealth#suicide#ibs#mentalhealthisimportant#iammyownworstenemy#struggles#edwarriors#sadness#anxietyprobs

Hashtags #relapse for Instagram

Tattoos for me are reminders of truths to hold onto, things to fight for, when life gets rough. Mental illness and with it relapse and recovery, are an everyday part of my life. I got this tattoo- the eating disorder recovery symbol- the week I was last discharged from hospital for my eating disorder. That was the week of Christmas 17’. Tomorrow I go into hospital again after realising I need help, having had my eating disorder land me in Emergency four times in a week, each time with severe dehydration and severe muscle breakdown. I’m part hopeful and part terrified for hospital again. Recovery from an eating disorder, especially inpatient, feels like hell. But recovery will be worth it one day. Fighting for freedom in my life when it comes to food and my body will be worth it. Fighting for recovery.


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im so tired. Physically, emotionally, tired of fighting every single day. I’m having a lot of troubles sleeping lately I keep waking up in the night super abruptly out of breath and heart racing. It’s like a panic attack but I don’t know why it’s happening at night😫. If you know anything about this or have experienced this let me know⬇️
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#ibs
#anorexiarecovery #anorexia #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #socialanxiety #bodydysmorphia #ihatemyself #relapse #fdoe #struggles #edfamily #edwarriors #endthestigma #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #panicattack #sadness #worrying #insomniac #recoverywarrior #stuck #unexplainablefeeling #voicesinmyhead #iammyownworstenemy #mentalhealthisimportant #anxietyprobs #generalizedanxietydisorder #introvert


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Fuck you
Fuck you and all your "I love you's"
Fuck you and all the time you made me feel insecure
But most of all FUCK YOU and your promise to never be like him .
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#selfhatred #selfharn #cutting #love #art #lgbt #suicide #relapse #recovery


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Low key binging in my underwear and I've lost so many followers today but
I'm so depressed and my story feed has pretty much reflected that and been triggering as fuck so yeah I'm sorry I slept 36 hours in the last 2 days and now I'm eating more than I've eaten in weeeeeks hah so....
Rip?


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>>18.01.2018 06:18 Uhr<<
❗️TW (SVV, Trauma, Essstörung)❗️ Ich habe bis jetzt noch keine Minute geschlafen.. Es haben sich immer mehr Erinnerungen aufgedrängt.. Bilder, Körperempfindungen, aber vor allem die Gefühle.. Dieses Gefühl des ausgeliefert seins.. Ich habe unzählige Situationen erlebt, in denen ich mich so gefühlt habe.. Angst. Mein Vater.. Meine Mutter.. Er..
Aber das ist nicht mehr aktuell. JETZT bin ich sicher. Das muss ich mir klar machen..
Ich habe versucht mich abzulenken.. Habe YouTube Videos gesehen, bin auf eine Doku über Essstörungen gestoßen.. Habe sie angeschaut.. Ich würde nicht sagen, dass sie mich direkt getriggert hat, aber sie hat mir klar gemacht, wie sehr mich die Essstörung im Griff hat.. Auch jetzt noch. Obwohl ich dachte es ist "alles gut", wobei dies auch die Therapeuten so sehen.. Ich habe mich schrecklich gefühlt. Fett. Eklig. Abstoßend.
Mein Selbsthass ist ins unermessliche gestiegen.. In meinem Kopf waren lauter solche Gedanken wie "ich bin nicht krank genug" "bin ich überhaupt krank? Oder nur faul, fett und dumm?" "keiner sieht wie sehr ich leide und wie sehr ich kämpfe" "vielleicht sollte ich einfach gar nix mehr essen"... Ich konnte dem Druck nicht stand halten...
Ich würde so gerne Bedarf nehmen, aber ich weiß genau, dass ich dann nicht aus dem Bett komme, ich habe heute Nachmittag Therapie und muss ja recht lange fahren.. Ich hoffe ich kann jetzt noch ein bisschen schlafen..
Bleibt stark, gebt nicht auf, ihr seid toll. ❤️ #recovery #relapse #psychischkrank #mentalillness #ana #anorexia #essstörung #depressionen #depressed #panikattacken #schlafstörungen #borderline #bpd #ptbs #ptsd #trauma #flashbacks #therapie #recoveryishard #staystrong #kämpfer #warrior #fighter #outpatient


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🌨️"Cuando comienza la noche 
La empiezo con un suspiro 
De pronto veo la mañana 
Y siempre ando bien al tiro 
Con el 8 y un Buchanan 
Con eso siempre revivo "#fuckrecovery #relapse #cocaina #drugs #goosebumps #pistiando #loquiando


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Ugh I have had such a bad week. My anxiety has been really bad and I’ve been having troubles swallowing food for nearly 2 weeks now and although I’ve lost weight faster than usual, I feel miserable and with I could at least get something small down every so often. Today I saw my nutritionist and we talked more about php which I have my intake appointment for on January 30th and my thoughts on that. I’m SO scared to start treatment. I’ve only ever really done outpatient treatment and I have no idea what to expect. I have to see a gastroenterologist on Friday because of my problems with swallowing so hopefully I can get more answers as to what’s going on. While talking to my nutritionist today she mentioned it being Wednesday which I have nothing against Wednesday’s or anything but I realized it was Wednesday and just started crying. I’m such a fat mess. I’m a failure. I see my psychologist tomorrow so hopefully that’ll help but I’m just having such a hard week and I don’t deserve to feel better. If you’ve been to php or any type of treatment really can you please give me any tips or anything of what to expect or that can help me to be less nervous? Thank you in advance, hopefully I’ll get at least one or two comments. I need help getting more followers so lmk if your interested in f4f or s4s! #anorexia #bulimia #anorexic #bulimic #ana #mia #fat #failure #food #intake #appointment #weight #weightloss #eatingdisorder #ed #treatment #php #relapse #recovery #therapist #nutritionist #psychologist #anxiety #depression #panicattack #depressed #f4f #s4s


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