Well, with the whole intention of this space as documenting my journey to functioning by design, and inspiring others to do the same, it would be silly not to share what has happened this week. Time for testimony!! I have been on an 8 year journey of finding myself. When it started, I wanted to be a figure skater. I gave up everything. Moved away from home, gave up interests, opportunities, responsibilities, and lived, breathed, and slept training. After 2 years of training, I ended up breaking my tailbone. I became anxious, depressed and obsessive. When my athletic endeavours ended abruptly for reasons outside of my control, I blamed my body.
Since then, I’ve abused my body with one of my favourite gifts in life: food. I bowed to addiction and self-sabotage. I haven’t been able to access parts of who I was that came alive through movement and sweat because they were buried in shame.
While it’s been 4 years since the end of figure skating, I am only now back at the first reason I started competitive skating to begin with…. identity…..competency, belonging, success.
Enter the hero. Jesus. He came and took all my shame AND gave me permission to train my body athletically without shame. He came and met me in traumatizing memories and completely rewrote them. Not only that but every memory of pain since then feels transformed by his physical presence. He has taken away the devastation that came with a crumbling identity because he has truly let the truths of who I am because of who he is sink down into my heart and gut.
He truly is the One who can come INTO your disappointment and embarrassment and give you gifts within the memory. The enemy would rather rob you of. He wins backs what’s yours and rewrites your history. Hallelujah!!!! I went for a 3 km run (longest in a long time) in the RAIN the other day and LOVED it. Then went and got my locks chopped to express what’s going on inside. Then I unashamedly drank a green juice and had an amazing weekend at @vialethbridge.
Got pain you want healed? Talk to Jesus. Don’t know Him yet? Got questions? Please message me!!!! Would love to introduce you to Him. He’s the best. 💚🥳🙌🏼