#searchingforpetparasol

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„Dance! This boogie is for real!“ it’s Canned Heat by Jamiroquai. It’s time to enjoy life and take it as it comes. I’ve learned that there’s just so much that we can influence anyways. And there are things I believe in. I believe that there’s someone special out there for everyone of us. We’ll know when we meet them. There’s an echo. Similar wave length. Ease of talking. The vibe.
The picture is that of an echo too. One of my party pics from Berlin. It’s like the lamps are talking to each other. They light up the night and brighten each other’s presence. Without any spiritual aspects: Essentially it was a double exposure picture with the same lamp. But even if you look at just the fact there’s room for interpretation.
In the past I was wrong to interpret my relationships to the men I knew. I always thought there was some kind of magic going on. Maybe wishful thinking. I guess that only happens in fairy tales. Still, in the back of my mind there’s the thought of so-called twin flames existing. Not necessarily as a „partner in crime“ what love is concerned. Maybe it’s also a friend, a family member or a mentor at work.
Right now, in my life, I’ve made wonderful connections with people that I am super thankful for. I still look forward to having the real light and boogie in my life to dance with though.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #jamiroquai #cannedheat #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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„Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name“ sing The Rolling Stones in Sympathy For The Devil. It’s hard to feel sympathy for the devil with all the evil in the world. Innocent people dying all over the world, be it in wars, in the waters of the Mediterranean, be it through terrorism. I sincerely wish there will be more peace in the future and also a future prospect for those in need.
And I’ll contribute in whichever small ways that are possible owing the fact that there’s evil in all of us including myself. It’s the thoughts that can eventually make the difference: watch your thoughts because the will be your words. Watch your words because they will be your actions and also watch your actions because they will be your future. This is a saying that means a lot to me and that gives me some perspective in what I’m thinking. Plus: life rehearsal is not. We take it or leave it. Seize the day or let it be. Yesterday was a day with a huge step for me although I only took a very small action. I’m glad I did it, but have no clue what may turn out of it. I do hope it had a good effect with all the thought and words put into it. I’m glad I seized the day. Carpe diem, but watch out: the devil is in the details or a squirrel - as the Germans would say. ;)
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #therollingstones #sympathyforthedevil #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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„Well, I only wanna make things right,“ it’s Lemon Jelly with Make Things Right playing. A simple line. Still full of good intentions. Sometimes good is too much of the sort though. Yesterday I created a book from my contributions using the pictures and the text of this account. I was overwhelmed: I created 15 pages full of text in the past month having spent just about half an hour with each contribution.
At the same time I was a bit shocked too. It reminded me of times when I got sick. Times when I felt too good to be true. I felt as if I was in love with an invisible friend. I did so much extra than usual. I got lost in the music and the internet. I was a hermit. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t eat. I spent too much money. I overdid it: I was manic.
I talked about all that is going on right now with my therapist today. I’m still on the bright side, sleeping, eating, meeting friends, plus I’m taking my medicine. This is so important. But I need to slow down a bit. There’s important stuff going on at work next week. I’ve been preparing for this for months now. So I need to be ready to hoist the sails and let the wind bring me to whatever the destination may be. Same here. I let the winds and waters decide where my messages in a bottle end up. I hope that everything will be right in the end.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #lemonjelly #makethingsright #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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„O que resta em todo mundo, É dar paz pra quem precisar,“ the lyrics read of Rasmus Faber‘s Cidade Oposta. This means about the following: What remains in the heart of everyone is the sense of giving peace to whom who needs it.
It’s time to find my peace of mind also what petparasol is concerned. I need to face it: I might never find them. But it’s okay. For now I’m at ease with the process and progress made. Yesterday I took some time off also off of writing, which was good, relaxing and peaceful.
I needed it. With all that is happening around me at this point in time, it’s so important to look after me. I’m glad I realized that I need this in my life, but also that I’m actually putting it into practice. I can only encourage everyone to look after yourself. It’s all about self-consciousness and knowing your limits and comfort zones. I’ve chosen a picture of a landscape with double exposure along with this. It contrasts the city theme and matches the easygoing melody of the song. Hope you do have an easygoing time today. Enjoy, relax and be happy!
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #rasmusfaber #cidadeoposta #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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“But I’m still dreaming of the day that I will find my love,” sings Melody Gardot in All That I Need Is Love. Happy day of the kiss to all! Kiss away today and any day. And seize every kiss you can get from your loved one. It’s so important to cherish what you’ve got. Right now, this seems like a dream to me.
So I picked a dreamy pic of a blossoming cherry tree and this wonderful love song about behaviors and expectations. It’s easy to take love for granted and I had to experience the lack of it when it was gone. I’m over my exes, don’t get me wrong. But I’m missing the feeling of love, loving and being loved. Maybe I haven’t lived to see the real thing yet, but I do honor the feelings I had so far. “...they can’t see that I am falling apart, ‚cause no one will acknowledge my heart“ the song goes. I admit it’s hard to be on my own at times, although I generally consider myself a happy single. Love is one of the lemons missing in my life. In fact, all that I need is love.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #melodygardot #allthatineedislove #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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“Can I kick it?” A Tribe Called Quest ask. Who isn’t on a quest in this strange and funny world? Looking at the bucket on the picture brings me back to Australia once again. To a solitary space for serious business. Not quite like the Flight of the Conchords, but that would be too much information. ;)
Instead I’m talking about a bucket list. There are quite a few travels and life experiences I made that I wanted to happen, that used to be on a list, but also those that came (un-) expectedly into my life. Like people I met they turned out to be quite some lesson or a blessing. At least in the moment I saw a difference. But now I would almost go as far as to saying: I consider every experience a blessing. Plus they come to be whenever I’m ready for them.
So for what lies ahead I know every adventure in my life will be a blessing. This is a good thing, it lifts fear off of me, and rather triggers a feeling of relief inside of me. I’m not assuming that every blessing will be without pain in one way or another. But everything will turn out fine. I want to start right away by asking: Can I kick it?
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #atribecalledquest #canikickit #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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“It’s alright, find the real thing,” the James Taylor Quartett and Free Your Mind play. Life is a wonderful playground to try oneself in new ventures. It’s like finding a new part of oneself. Years back I had the expectation that I might find a job that I would then hang on to for the rest of my life. Instead I ventured into many different professions and industries - always on the lookout what my real forever happy ever after job would be. I was wrong.
Today I believe that life and jobs happen in stages. We move on once we learned enough. Plus we can handle multiple professions if we want to. It depends on how we (choose to) spend our time. In today’s yoga class the instructor talked about the Buddhist approach of spending time: the golden, lead and wasted time. All of them can be applied to all areas of life. Wasted time is straightforward. Lead time takes a lot of patience. And golden time is valuable to oneself and maybe to others too.
Right now I feel like there is little wasted time in my life, but there’s the wait too. Wait for something to happen in regard to petparasol. Simultaneously it’s golden time since I really look into finding the real thing by offering a part of myself here. Same with the picture. It gives directions but it’s unclear what the arrows are pointing at. For now it’s alright and I’m keeping the suspense.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #jamestaylorquartett #freeyourmind #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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Hasty Boom Alert by µ-Ziq has its own energy that’s transporting various feelings for me. As the name suggests there’s haste involved, maybe some sort of overreaction in the chaos that life brings along. But there’s the feeling of space too, a vastness of sound and possibilities. Good energy afterall. A promise even.
I selected the picture of the Duomo of Milan today. The magnolias blossoming gives me the feeling of promise too. It was such a beautiful sight when visiting the city with a friend. Due to the overlapping views on the Duomo there’s contrasting energy involved. I love this picture. It’s like a safe haven, a symbol of being secured and safe.
This is a feeling I didn’t always have: at the time when I was sick I felt quite insecure, always thinking people were after me as if I had done something wrong. A short but intense experience. I am glad that this is over and that I can rely on my personal mechanisms to stay healthy and feel safe and secured. And again one is to think first then act - otherwise a hasty boom alert can backfire.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows -Ziq #hastyboomalert #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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„No one I think is in my tree,“ that’s what I used to think. The Beatles spoke my mind in Strawberry Fields Forever. It was the time when I confused heart work with hard work. I wanted to be accepted for all the „wrong“ reasons. That was quite an exhausting experience. I kept a lot to myself including my music addiction. I considered it irrelevant, considered myself irrelevant. That’s about the opposite as to friends would have perceived me at the time. Still, I felt like an imposter.
So: eventually keeping your mind, soul and heart to yourself let’s you implode. That’s what happened to me. It took some time, but now many things have changed: Today heart work is art work - not in the French way pronounced. Just kidding. It’s light and fun, enjoyable, shareable. So I’m hoping that you as spectator/listener/reader can tune in and sit with me in my tree.
I chose a picture of a tree - my favorite tree - to heart the art. It seems like the picture is flipped with the sky underneath the leaves glistening in the sun. Just like everyone is perceived differently from the outside, there’s the personal perception of oneself. Sometimes these are flipped. The picture of the tree is a reminder not to judge a book by its cover or a tree by its leaves. There might be something hidden within the tree trunk. Something that wants to shine just like an authentic heart. At this stage life becomes an art work.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #thebeatles #strawberryfieldsforever #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode #heartworkisartwork


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„Can‘t keep running away.“ I need to face reality and put my focus on those things that are relevant, really matter now. Listening to The Pharcyde and Runnin‘ just helped me in regaining perspective in dealing with heart-related situations. Today has been a fun day and I had the chance to sleep and recover a bit. I was strolling outside and enjoying the sun with very dear people. They came round for a semi-surprise visit. I feel so much love for them. They know immediately when I’m doing fine or not. Just having them close by meant the world to me.
Lately I‘ve been spending a lot of time at work, around people and also on the internet. Something got lost on the way. Although writing about myself, it’s all been very much looking back while writing in the present. On the one hand, this feels like a clean-up mechanism for my soul. But at the same time my heart got stuck a bit. It doesn’t work in the past, but now, I came to thinking. Heart work is now and can only work reciprocally, a mutual energy exchange. That’s what today’s encounter showed me. It opened my eyes: I need to take care of myself so I can take care of others and have enough strength for them. My heart will be grateful I am sure if I’m not running away from it.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #thepharcyde #runnin #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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„Meet me on the corner, we'll start again,“ sings Badly Drawn Boy in Once Around The Block. This it what sounds like an on-off-relationship with someone that is hard to read:„I've gotta search hard for your clues.“ Same thing with the song for me. There is lots of interpretation and speculation involved. Nothing straightforward although the title seems to give a precise direction.
Once around the block can also mean running around in circles and not being able to look outside the box anymore. Being stuck, stuck in fears perhaps as the song suggests. But there’s a solution as the lyrics suggest meeting up is the way out. For me that means accepting new perspectives from friends and adapting my writing accordingly. I’m absolutely glad that my friends are there helping me and joining me on this endeavor writing this blog.
So far I represented the following: „Heart on your sleeve and your soul in your shoes.“ Now there’s more to it. I feel it. Bringing both - heart and soul - together and adding some mind to it is what I am aiming for. It’s like a special workout for new energy. For whatever or whoever is waiting once around the block.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #badlydrawnboy #oncearoundtheblock #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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What a week! Time to relax and wash off the steady being on the grind mode. Aphex Twin with Avril 14th is the best music to recharge right now for me. Soft piano tones to unwind and take care of myself. No decision to be taken at this point, no deadline, no nothing. Just me, some thoughts, the picture and the music.
The picture, my friend and the water in the picture also recharged me at the time. It’s a triple exposure picture this time giving it a ghostly atmosphere: There are more feet than people in the picture. Did you notice?
I must admit, I miss being close to the water, which reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Ms. Lauryn Hill Just Like Water in the MTV Unplugged No. 2.0 Version. Nothing to add to that. Happy Friyay!
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #aphextwin #avril14th #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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“The past inside the present.” That’s what writing this blog is about. It’s about a lasting memory that traveled to the future, the current present. I consider it as a present and it makes me think. Like the song Music is Math by Boards of Canada. Math is all about zeros and ones. That applies to people too and it’s easy to troll in the internet and beyond. I don’t think that many people actually think too much before acting. It’s sad and funny at the same time.
In that context, I just came across the following note on Instagram spelling out and asking questions about THINK:
T is it true?
H is it helpful?
I is it inspiring?
N is it necessary?
K is it kind?
I sometimes do act before thinking, so it’s also necessary for me to question myself and my behavior. For now and on this blog I do hope that there’s some added value for you as the reader in what I am writing. I thought a lot about whether to do it or not. My conclusion was that my story is true, hopefully helpful, inspiring, necessary and definitely meant in a kind way. So the past in terms of music, pictures and story live on now. And now has already changed again I’m thinking. Maybe petparasol or music only knows would call themselves differently now. I just don’t have any sign of their current state of mind, whereabouts and other details. So, I will stick to the name and hope that maybe someone out there might recognize themselves, count the ones and zeros together and think of letting me know.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #boardsofcanada #musicismath #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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“Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older,” then we would be so much smarter - I hope. It’s easy to make wishes and dream as if being a child. Sometimes I wish myself back to those times when life was guided by the simple things. The Pet Sounds album by The Beach Boys holds this promise for me. Especially this song makes me feel dreamy and transports my mind back to pre-teenage times when I really fancied the group after finding a cassette in my parents’ small music collection. I immediately fell for the music. (Okay, except for the occasional Elvis maybe.) Similarly I fell for my very first and long term boyfriend of 10 years. So many dreams, wonderful memories and the realization that “life happens when you’re busy making other plans” as John Lennon used to say. So returning to the dreamy phase by listening to this song makes me relax and regain the children’s perspective. And I know there’s love waiting for me out there somewhere whoever that may be. I’m sure once I look back a couple of years from now the memory of today’s dream will have manifested in one way or another. I’ll just not plan with anything, as life will happen anyways. So I may end up with a pet instead of a partner after all. So far my camera has caught some bovine creature only, which I’m sharing in this post. I’m ready. Wouldn’t it be nice?
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #thebeachboys #wouldntitbenice #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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“They say an end can be a start,” Phoenix sing in If I Ever Feel Better. It’s the feeling I have had today, all day already. Change is in the air and with a big kaboom something ended. Obviously the Phoenix returned to an ashes state of being. Otherwise I can’t explain it. I need to learn to accept that there are things I can’t change. Still they leave a bad aftertaste.
It’s such a terrible feeling if you want to do just about anything to change a situation, but your hands or feet are tied as in that case. Yes, today I’m writing about soccer. And I’m speechless. The last weeks it has been survival of the German fans. The worst of feelings stood in the foreground, and hope and belief and so many expectations. Now, everything is clear, the results and rules are clear. And my heart is broken. So in terms of this song: “If I ever feel better, remind me to spend some good time with you.” But at the same time there is relief and renewal in the air. So: The question no longer is how to fall but rather how to get back up again. That’s the art to deal with defeat. Getting back up again works. It’s hard but full of opportunities. That’s how I felt with the setbacks I experienced in my life so far. And this is true. And soccer will always survive.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #phoenix #ifieverfeelbetter #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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“The wind is in from Africa, last night I couldn't sleep,” sings Joni Mitchell in Carey. I was at an offsite with work yesterday staying at a new place. And in fact I couldn’t sleep. This reminded me of this song and of the many travels I’ve been on sharing memories with friends and sleepless first nights 2000m above sealevel, in hotels and at friends‘ places. Having fun times with them is what I need to breath. And what “smashing empty glasses down” and the lyrics are concerned, well, that has happened before. No smashing though yesterday, though, during the soccer matches.
So not sleeping last night was really weird and today I feel quite exhausted. I’m glad to be back at my place now after a day full of activities and canoeing. It’s so important for me to juggle between active and more relaxed phases. Otherwise I’m not at the top of my speed. Whoever read about the Myers-Briggs Type Identicator knows there are, among others, the definitions for an extrovert and an introvert. Usually people just have one trait. I feel like I’m mixed depending on the situation and depending on what is required from me in then. That doesn’t mean I’m undecided. I rather feel like life and personalities don’t give any straightforward answers. So you may say it’s either one or the juggling of the two. In other words, besides black and white, there’s this huge variety of grey that needs to be recognized. Three general options opposed to duality. I prefer the former and fancy triangles. Carey seems to also be a character that doesn’t fit in. That again reminds me of a saying: „Life is like Tetris: if you try to fit in you’re gonna disappear.“ That would be too sad.
The album‘s name and cover is in a beautiful blue. That’s why I selected a blue picture as well, as a tribute to the Mediterranean atmosphere of the song. And to all the sleepless people out there: I believe it’s full moon too ;)
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #jonimitchell #carey #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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“Ooh, and after all is said and done
Do we have the heart to carry on?” Incognito ask. Still A Friend of Mine used to be a song I used to sing to when I was younger. I still love the bittersweet tone of a love going on a rollercoaster ride. Although not knowing petparasol personally, the small contact I had with them made me think of them as a kind, witty, deep, varied and super interesting character. The choice of music says a lot about a person, I find. I felt like there must have been a very special someone in their life to be playing all these songs. So, at the time, I really felt like I shouldn’t interrupt their train of thought - except for that one request I made. I know how rollercoaster rides in love feel like. I had my share. And seeing petparasol and later music only knows leave was like waving goodbye to a friend. So, you may call me crazy, but them leaving touched me. But then as well that made me also think that their choice must be for a good reason. Like moving ahead in life or to another love or whatever. I don’t have the answer. Petparasol only knows. I know what taking a break from life, love, everything really feels like. Today I’m aware of all that is possible, even having been on my own for a long time. Still I managed to have the heart to carry on. That wouldn’t have been possible without the great friends, colleagues and family I have. And like in the song, I would be there for them. Somehow I count petparasol as a friend also, so this is an offer and a statement that this would also apply to them.
Friendship takes time to grow. Just like those little flowers in a park I took the picture of. Plugging them would have been a disgrace, but letting them grow was an expression of respect and love for them. Just like what I want to express towards my friends, including petparasol.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #incognito #stillafriendofmine #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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“... follow to Gate 3 and have a good trip!” It’s the United Future Organization with United Future Airlines playing. It feels like being ready for take-off. Just like the seagull in the picture. She simply opens her wings and lets the wind lift her up, soaring to the sky. The day in Oostende was really chilly, sunny and windy. And the seagull just seized the day. Today is such a day for me too. Sundays are days for chilling, doing some laundry and hanging out with friends and family. Also: it’s the time to reflect a bit on what my state of mind is. I do feel there’s room to start soaring and aiming higher in my life. Part of this is taking a birds eye view on my life. I feel like I can trust the process. Sometimes I like to pull a card from an spiritual card deck a friend owns, called the universe has your back. So, I pulled a card reading simply: “The universe has your back.” I was so surprised by this. I thought this was just the title, but it describes everything at once. So suddenly an awkward change happened within me. I let go of wanting to know everything and needed to be perfectly prepared in every instance, for every situation. At work I had a couple of breakthroughs after this: I used to be super prepared for every meeting and (dreaded) presentation, counting in all eventualities. Since the card’s simple but effective words sunk into my mind I’ve become more and more relaxed and rocking the presentations with a new ease so they have actually become a fun part for me. Suddenly I see so much more potential in my life and working on this blog shows me the same. I feel like the seagull really: ready to spread my wings. Thank you universe, pleased to meet you!
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #unitedfutureorganization #unitedfutureairlines #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode #theuniversehasyourback


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“Our work is never over,” Daft Punk sing in Harder Better Faster Stronger. An iconic song with an unstoppable energy. I love it! Yesterday I wrote about starting new, but it’s really just the beginning of work. How many times have we all started something and not followed through? We’re never done and that means on all levels and in all aspects of life: friends, family, love, the recreational and work. I’m particularly thinking of the part of becoming who we truly are, though. That’s the hardest. With every step we take, every lesson we learn and every goal we set we have a path laid out. Progress begins with every single one of us. But oftentimes we’re scared. Scared of failure, scared even of becoming a better version of oneself. It happens to me all of the time. But: it’s worth it to take a step into the unknown, into the future. This reminds me of what Marianne Williamson wrote: “As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Fear is contagious. Liberation is contagious too. So we have a choice: if we decide in terms of fear, then our life transforms into a dark cloud. If we decide for liberation of ourselves, there’s the world of possibilities. Possibilities that mean work, hard work even, but in a very promising way, making life better, making everyone stronger and also faster. The possibilities of a flow state of mind are endless. But it can only work out, if we are mindful with ourselves, if we acknowledge our limits and if we stay healthy. That includes but is not limited to some nice breaks having good company and some coffee and cake. Treat yourself!
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #daftpunk #harderbetterfasterstronger #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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“...it's time that we were on the road,” it’s Vashti Bunyan singing Come Wind, Come Rain. I interpret the song as to telling me: keep moving in life, no matter what, because standing still is like moving backwards. At times, though, I felt an inner standstill feeling lost in this world. Where did the purpose of my life suddenly go? Life felt like a dead end, but instead of laying down, I started moving. I walked all night through totally consumed with the thought: I need to start something new. Just about anything really. Be it love. Be it work. Be it my social life. I just couldn’t grasp it. This situation - including the not sleeping part - let me loose touch to reality and my body collapse. That was the caesura in my life and I had to get help. Help I never wanted. I was on my own for some time already and used to taking care of myself by myself. Suddenly I was at a hospital and got help. The thing was that this utterly changed me in my take on life. I was broken down to pieces on the floor, and piece by piece I had to put myself back together. I became a new me, but I really needed to start from scratch. Just like the Japanese Kintsugi, where broken things are reconnected with gold to honor blemishes. After all it was like beginning a new life for me. I had to learn everything once again. Also my attitude towards life has changed: I’ve earlier talked about positivity. But there’s more to it. Of course, there’s negativity involved in life too. But the key is to balance the two by being conscious of what happens. There may be wind, there may be rain, but the mission of life doesn’t just end. It’s about moving, moving to another level, moving to another level of consciousness. It’s like being part of a scenery, but overlooking everything, taking in all perspectives at the same time. This is the feeling I had when taking the picture. It’s a soft and peaceful view with a road winding through the landscape as if telling me: get moving there’s more awaiting you out there!
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #vashtibunyan #comewindcomerain #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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“You got to keep in the game
Retaining mystique while facing forward” sings Rufus Wainwright in the absolutely phenomenal song Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk. The words got stuck in my mind. There was a time when I tried to keep in the game, wanted to belong to the crowd and also to a guy I liked. Spoiler: It didn’t work out, a huge learning experience nonetheless. Still, at the time, I started smoking, a craving that I fed continuously for a long time. I’m not exactly proud of this, but it’s part of my story. Like the picture: it shows some memories from a party in Berlin years back. There’s some sort of mystique and nostalgia involved when I look at it: a smile, stumps and space covered in what seems like glitter. It’s a bit disgusting I admit, but somewhat beautiful too.
I’ve been smoke free for a while now and so much more relaxed, feeling free, much more open-minded and centered. It’s up to every single one of us how to go about smoking or non-smoking. I’m not on a mission here! Plus there are too many other cravings out there like dark chocolate or nuts or food in general that I enjoy. So I’m super pro cravings! It’s part of feeling alive to me. Even if they may cover up some insecurities, excitement or feelings towards a crush in life when we feel like a mess. It’s soul food, and it helps me in facing forward.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #rufuswainwright #cigarettesandchocolatemilk #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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„Pour l'épreuve de vérité,“ for the test of truth. Kraftwerk with Tour de France says it all. So what kind of truth needs to be tested here? What is the race about? Is there a race involved at all? I know I have taken up speed writing a text every day since I started. I have been in a flow state of mind, a great feeling. For me it’s a fun project. But I also wonder how petparasol would take it if they found out about this. I do hope in a positive way. At the same time, I feel like there’s no time to be lost and that some things like writing this just need to be done. Also, it’s such great memory that needs to be shared. For me at least it’s time. It’s a gut feeling. Something I just started back trusting in. And I also know how overpacing feels like. So reflecting on what’s happening is tremendously important. I do this with trusted friends, but I also recommend everyone to keep an eye out looking for a good third-party person to cleanse the mind, heart and soul. There are so many options and you don’t have to do everything on your own, be strong and then break apart. Life is a team effort. No one can be the winner without a great team. It’s just not worth it, mostly myopic. Except maybe for a lesson in life, which is helpful, in my point of view, if we all actually learn from it. So what’s the inevitable truth from this you may ask? Life to me is about connecting with people. You could say, for instance: “People come into your life for a reason: either as a blessing or a lesson.” I’ve chosen a family picture along with this. It was taken in the Champagne region, France, a couple of years back. With this I want to close the cycle and the racing theme of today’s post. It’s a double exposure shot showing two sets of (dis-)connecting. There’s a thin line between the two. Sometimes you need to go really fast to stay connected or (re-) connect in the first place. What petparasol is concerned I just want make sure that I did all that is possible to (re-)connect after all the time has passed. I hope time will tell.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #kraftwerk #tourdefranceetape2 #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode #lifeisateameffort


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„Yozora ni hikaru nani ga tondeku,“ Shugo Tokumaru sings in Rum Hee. The song is about a riddle and asks about what to do with the sky. I don’t speak Japanese - or Portuguese - for that matter, but instead Google translator. Even if this helps to some extent, song lyrics require some interpretation. So, this song is a riddle by itself like the former presence or then absence of petparasol. The picture is also about presence and absence and the sky. The building is a building by itself, but built in layers. So, there’s the see-through-effect with the sky playing tricks with your mind. Similarly the layers of the picture show different truths, different perceptions at one time. I’ve always loved stories, art and mind-twisters that happen on several levels simultaneously such as Jostein Gaarder‘s The Solitaire Mystery, a philosophical riddle from my youth. He said: „When we look up at the sky, we are trying to find a way back to ourselves.“ A riddle? A form of comforting truth? Or rather discomforting? I wonder.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #shugotokumaru #rumhee #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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„É a promessa de vida no teu coração“ - the waters of March have their special magic, especially when sung in such an outstanding and fun duet by Elis Regina and Antonio Carlos Jobim. I absolutely adore the light-hearted bossa sound and the flirty promise of life the lyrics make in one‘s heart. I chose a watery picture along with this song to express how attitude towards life changes everything, like water does. I believe there’s a reason for everything happening. Challenges. Tears. Hope. Love. Everything’s connected. Is the glas half-full or half-empty now? It’s easy to say: take a positive sip on life, but it’s not. It’s easy to stick to the negative side. The positive is easy once there are goals involved. Goals for life, love, work. But it’s got to be your own goals, not the ones of other people. Again, that means change, emancipation and involves the rough path of sticking to your own life. I’m in the middle of the process, but I feel life has been getting so much lighter, touching and lifting my heart already since I added personal goals to the menu. A good friend told me life’s gotta come to you, trust the process. It’s true. So I’m letting the waters wash away doubt to free all that’s within and take things from there. Cheers!
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #elisregina #antoniocarlosjobim #aguasdemarco #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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„It’s alright now, in fact, it’s a gas“, The Rolling Stones sing. There’s little to add to this. I’m happy, enjoying life and have recovered from all the hardships on the way - so far. But I also know that I need to take special care of myself due to my vulnerability towards burning out. What did actually help me? This list is based on but not limited to three aspects. First of all: sleep! During my excessive days and nights swimming in YouTube I didn’t sleep. We all know what sleep deprivation leads to. Second: a balanced approach to working with regular breaks with a warm meal, especially for lunch, to check on my state of mind and body. And third: friends! They have been the anchor in my life, and I’m thankful for those who’ve been there during bad times and even more for those who still stick with me now that I’m better and healthy. The picture shows the fun we have even if it is a bit shaken. It’s like Jumping Jack Flash has come alive. And it’s a gas!
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #therollingstones #jumpingjackflash #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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Respect for all colors that life brings you - that’s what the song is about. To me it’s a really energetic and deep song. It reminds me of the mixed friends and family I have. It also reminds me of Mother Earth when looking at the Eukalyptus tree I found in Australia. The light was broken in the leaves dispersing in all colors available to form white light from the sun. I feel like this song honors where we all come from, rooted in our own personal history, and simultaneously honors where we may be heading to growing towards the sky, towards new horizons, seizing new opportunities. Trees have a life-reassuring aura to me. Walking in the woods or watching trees change throughout the seasons has been a way to find purpose in my existence. The song does the same for me: respect for all there is provides meaning to life.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #dalata #cores #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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Like a tourist I’ve always loved exploring life, what holds us together, getting to know different people from different cultures, different sectors of work, countries, languages and lifestyles. I have been lucky and able to see a lot. My camera has joined me in grasping some moments on this journey of life. When in Oostende, Belgium, with a friend from Bruxelles I came across these impressive orange-red sculptures. They immediately touched me. They reminded me of the encounters I had while spending time in a hospital. There, it was no longer relevant what material goods everyone held, what achievements one‘s life had brought about or how slim you were. All that mattered was humanity: people as human beings. With their good days, worse days, bad habits, great characters, their edges and health concerns. The question was: what is really relevant in life and how to be one’s authentic self? My picture was harmed in the developing process. So it looks a little squished and distorted. Similar to the sculptures themselves. Or quite like everyone I’ve met: everyone has gone through difficult times and has felt squished from expectations, no matter if triggered internally or externally. So it’s important to be kind, no matter what. The song by Chilly Gonzales underlines this, in my perception. After all, we’re all tourists in this life, on this planet. It’s okay to feel squished: it’s beautiful, it’s me, it’s you!
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #chillygonzales #thetourist #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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„My only regret is we never met,“ Stacey Kent sings in „The Boy Next Door“. This is the ultimate wish I have: meeting petparasol. As in the song I‘ve been fantasizing about them for many years. I even thought a guy I used to know was them. I once wrote petparasol and made a request for a song I had previously seen on their profile, tremendously liked, and they actually put it back up on YouTube. But I honestly don’t think they actually knew me and realized I was such a big fan. Maybe I didn’t seize the chance or dare to ask more while they were still there. There’s some regret involved here, I must admit. Somehow I just can’t forget them. It almost feels like it was a sandbox love - at least for me - with some innocence and very specific personal taste involved. For me, music and pictures express the current state of mind and heart. This is what I want to express on this blog too. I don’t know about petparasol. I believe that there are no coincidences. You may call it karma, I call it serendipity. I like finding something good without looking for it. This is what happened to me. Maybe this also applies to the „boy“ next door.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #staceykent #theboynextdoor #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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LIFEISNOWHERE - lovely test and door opener on the social networks. What do you make of it? Not just literally, but for real? I can only share my experience: before and after. This is also what this blog is about. Sourcing from the past (Life is nowhere) to talk about the future (Life is now here) now. I love the reflection of this when I look at my mother and myself in the glass door. Everything happened within one moment captured for a lifetime, on many levels: experience, perspectives, everything and more. I’m gaining strength from the past feeling secured by it but am facing forward now. It’s about taking risks, leaving the comfy comfy comfort zone of a pastime paradise. I’m going with the flow and hope that many of us - including myself- do as Ray Barretto sings: “Let's start living our lives Living for the future paradise.”
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #raybarretto #pastimeparadise #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode #lifeisnowhere


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Sometimes no single word is necessary for a song to express what needs to be said. Its character lights up and touches my soul - just like that. Today was an intense day, full of personal emancipation. I know there will always be steps going backwards, today was definitely a different day. Today felt like burning fire waiting to renew my take on life and existence. I have been fascinated with the regular change fire brings to nature ever since I made it to Australia where I started taking pictures with my Holga camera in 2008. I love the sound of crackling fire and just had to stop on the highway. I knew going outside could have been harmful, but the inner drive to take in the smell of burning trees, feel the sizzling heat and capture the moment on camera overruled my logical thinking. Also: There’s hope and renewal involved with fire. Emancipation of life and nature. A moment to feel humbled, compassionate and relieved at the same time. Plus: there’s peace involved. Thinking about burning out myself and seeing who I have become today, makes me feel equally at peace. I know now and am totally convinced that emancipation can only be released if change happens, for instance, when fire is involved. This it what resonated with me when I checked back on the picture and the song. I’m really touched by it. Especially today.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #helios #emancipation #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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„You haven‘t walked in my shoes,“ the lyrics of Armand van Helden‘s song „U don’t know me“ read. People talk and have their opinion about this and that. Often it’s simple chatter, no depth, no thoughtfulness. I can’t stand it. I prefer dancing. Dancing to the music, living my story behind the lyrics or making sense of this all. I know I’m making myself vulnerable opening up this way in this context on instagram. Still, I want to raise awareness to mental health and the power of music. And - of course - I’m saying thank you for the music to petparasol. I wonder what it is like to walk in their shoes? Also how the music they chose came into their life. Was it by coincidence or serendipity? I don’t know, and I don’t know them. It is easy to hide in the World Wide Web. There must be some reason for that. I must admit, I’m semi doing the same. Having this blog for me is a way to express myself, I’m opening up in a way I’ve never done before. Now I’m ready to walk the talk, my talk - watched by you. Thanks for tuning in!
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #armandvanhelden #udontknowme #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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„If life gives you lemons, make lemonade,“ as people like to say. And it’s been true or even a necessity for me on many occasions. Not just eating lemon sherbet - I absolutely love the sour-sweet-yin-yang-face-crunching taste! But: there have always been lemons in my life. As a matter of fact, I see life as set of lemons that need juggling: self, family, social, love, health and work lemons, for that matter. For me, at times several lemons were practically falling on the floor: I was unhappy at work, totally misinterpreted my feelings towards a guy I liked, ended a long-term relationship, didn’t know how to set new goals for myself - and burned out. It was 2010, I had led a straightforward life, successful in all areas, self-sustained and suddenly there were question marks all over the place. My life was shaken: It was the time when I was speechless, unable to define what was going on with me. But then a new lemon crossed my path: music and petparasol‘s music in particular. It was like an anchor for me to hang on to. So, the vastness of an ocean called YouTube became a home for me. And listening to petparasol’s music became a part of my life, including Lemon Jelly and „Nice weather for ducks“. A lovely upbeat, thoughtful and motivating song helping me at juggling the lemons in my life and on my way out of burning out and setting new goals such as also considering myself as an artist.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #lemonjelly #niceweatherforducks #thankyouforthemusic #spotifycode


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The Avalanches with „Since I left you“ took some time for me to sink in. It was a time when I struggled finding my way back into life and self-love. The song showed me the difference it makes how I look at life, what I make of it. Life can be hurtful if you’re the one who’s left behind. So, just listening showed me that it’s up to me how I would progress, how I would be regaining perspectives. For me this is similar to art: starting before you’re ready, facing reality and doing some aikido with the waves let’s you grow new potential, similar to the wooden wave breakers in the picture. It was taken in Poland in 2010 and the seaweed covering the wood is like growing new capabilities in life, changing and adding to its purpose. Let nature do the trick and go with the flow - even if it hurts in the first place.
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #theavalanches #sinceileftyou #spotifycode


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„The earth has music for those who listen,“ Shakesphere writes. I have always loved music as so many others do. But there’s been more to it. It’s been an obsession and I’ve driven myself into other worlds after totally falling for a YouTube user. An expansive, but also quite an insane endeavor bringing me back down to earth in a very rough manner. For I still know so little about them with a small note returned from maybe Japan. I was trying to get in touch with them and am still having so many questions about them: Why did they suddenly disappear once in a while returning with a new name and same music, why was everything so cryptic and why did they stop sharing afterall? Also: is it a guy, is it a girl, is it a group of people? For I don’t know, I’ll be writing of „them“ on this new search blog. It’s my story, my pictures and music selected by petparasol a.k.a. Music Only Knows from approximately 2010 until 2016. In my point of view: great taste in music, fun, deep, varied in so many ways and a music education at its best. Is it you or do you have any clues on who it is, please share the news with me in a message. Thank you so much in advance for your help! So I’m starting with Nancy Wilson‘s „Call me“ today and keep my fingers crossed!
#searchingforpetparasol #musiconlyknows #petparasolonlyknows #nancywilson #callme #spotifycode #thankyouforthemusic


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