Shidduch Crisis? Tu B’Av- the day of love- what’s it all about?
Yes, there was a shidduch crisis 2,000 years ago as well! The Gemara speaks about the young women of Jerusalem who would gather together in their most beautiful makeup and swap dresses. They swapped outfits because they knew that nobody should be identified by what they own; some girls didn’t have nice clothing! They then made circles in vineyards, while the men of the city would come and watch with binoculars. The 15th of Av was pretty much shidduch night! The young women would call out, “Young man- take a look! Pick somebody!” The women split themselves up into 4 circles:
Circle 1- was filled with all the beautiful ladies- but they weren’t necessarily physically beautiful; they were beautiful for having a good HEART.
Circle 2- was filled with women who had “yichus” and came from good families...their message was, “my aim in life is to build a loving, loyal, giving and fun home because that’s where I come from!” They understood that a partner in life is to create a unit, a family.
Circle 3- was filled with “ugly” women. But they weren’t physically ugly- they were ugly in their OWN eyes. They viewed themselves as low. Right after this circle, the Gemara states the circle of Tzadikkim, which implies that they’re connected...
Circle 4- this circle represents Mashiach. The Baal Shem Tov says that we have ONE job until Mashiach comes: it’s our mission to make people feel important, beautiful and like they have good lineage (since in fact, we all do! Coming from Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov)...and secondly, we must always know that HaShem loves us. At least the girls in the third circle are IN the circle. There are so many women who wouldn’t even join a circle. Let’s be the generation who turns “hopelessness” into “hopefulness.” May we enter Tu B’Av and ask ourselves, “how do I look at myself?” May we feel beautiful. May we make OTHERS feel beautiful. May we see beauty in others. May we know what we’re searching for in a partner. May we commit to HaShem wholeheartedly. May we take the energy of this day, יום האהבה, and transform the month of Av into love and goodness. ✨❤️ 📷- @rabbiliady