“I’m tired of being stuck between a rock and a hard place because it’s starting to get old.
I turn to the left. I push and push and push
And I get tired very quickly.
Get tired of the passiveness and disappointment and lack of change.
It wares me out.
Second option is to turn right and climb, so I do.
Only now, there’s a risk.
If I fall, I lose my progress, my sanity, this image.
I will break if I slip.
And I somehow slip every time.
Climb, fall. Over and over.
The failure is tiring.
The little cracks start to accumulate and at this point, I’m tired of how it feels to keep tearing.
If I try, I feel pain.
If I don’t, I feel pain. But only on the inside.
It seems that the most logical solution is to just be complacent
Until my opposition becomes my confidante.
I was doing it before, so I’ll get use to the stillness again soon enough.
So for now, I’ll lay here and get some rest.
It’s 10:36 a.m. on a Saturday, and I’ve just opened my eyes. My cheeks are damp and my muscles are stiff.
My head and chest are pounding.
I don’t want to move.
Personal experience that I wanna share. I’ve just been thinking a lot for the past week. Emphasis on a lot. I’ve always been late to the party in every aspect of my life, so life just hit me a bit harder this week with a lot of things I wished I realized years ago. Yes, I’m tired, but not just physically. I’m mentally tired of dealing with a lot of the stuff that I put myself through. I’m tired of being tolerant and tired of “being tired”. Reassessing the way I look at the world is scary but it needs to be done in order to grow. At this point, I would normally say “I don’t know” to end off my caption but not this time. I know I gotta make a change to develop into the person I wanna be, because I’m tired of being a version of myself that holds me back. Time to move forward. •
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