How are they connected? Everyone knows the feeling of being numb. Cold has frozen your fingers or toes and initially, it’s a strange sensation but also protects you from feeling more of the cold, intensity, shock.
We numb ourselves all the time, usually unknowingly. We feel hurt or someone or something has caused us pain and we close down that part of ourselves so we don’t have to feel it.
Without thinking, we might go into autopilot or cram cookies into our mouths or hide under the covers and binge on Netflix until our attention is sufficiently diverted. And we have these incredible tiny computers at our fingertips that serve as the ultimate distraction. When we numb ourselves, we’re unconsciously falling into the idea that “if I don’t think about it, I won’t feel it if I don’t feel it, it won’t exist if it doesn’t exist, I’ll feel happy.” The problem with that way of being is that when you numb the pain, you unknowingly numb the good as well. There becomes a thick cloudy pane of glass between you and what is available to you - joy, pleasure and life’s moments of awe and wonder
For a long time, I was an expert at numbingIt took time to realize that I was numb to joy. To being present with my husband and kids. To experiencing that deep belly laugh. To actually tasting the food I was eating. To truly appreciating my kids’ laughter. I wanted so badly to be there but I didn’t know how.
And one day, it became too much. The not feeling. And I realized that I wanted to make a crack in that glass. A tiny hairline fracture so I could eventually break through to the other side. To do that, I had to sit with the pain, acknowledge it, invite it to teach me. It seems scary and counter intuitive. But the alternative, the not feeling, not being, not truly living is harder. If we want to bring more love into this world (and the needs it), we have to feel it all, the moments of joy, pain and in between
Want to cultivate more love, deeper love in your life? Join us! We are talking about love and relationships at TRIBE next Monday with the incredible @jordan_gray_consulting More info and link to tickets in bio.