Hey, I’m Cassady. I’m 25 years old and I’m stepping out of my comfort zone, and I’m telling you my story.
This photo was taken of me while I was a bridesmaid for my best friend’s wedding. I flew from Louisiana to California with one connecting flight, and I was miserable. I considered canceling right before the wedding because of the amount of anxiety I had leading up to the travel portion of my trip.
Honestly, no one wants to be that girl; the one that has to squeeze through the isles sideways, and prays to be sitting next to someone with an inkling of sympathy, or the one that holds up the boarding line because she asked for a seatbelt extender. But guess what, I am that girl.
This journey will be one where I want to set goals for myself, and accomplish them. But more importantly, I want it to be about the small things that I want for myself, that most people don’t think about. The way I walk. The way I fit in my car. The clothing I buy. The breath I take when I talk. The trips I can and cannot take. The limitations that I want to break. The way I shower. The way I use the bathroom. The way I get dressed.
These are all things that I have to do differently because of my size, and I’m ready for them to normalize.
And on a much different level than before, I’m finally here for me. I have finally arrived to the place where I’m sad for me. A place that hurts to think that I’ve let my own trauma lie to me. A destination created from listening to the voices that have said I never was worth it and I never will be worth it. I’m tired. I’m tired of listening and killing myself more. I’m tired of believing that I don’t deserve to be treated better by myself.
So this diary is for me.
A place to track. A place to vent. A place to be free.
Baby girl you have arrived.
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