What a dramatic Saturday it's been for football. At the Etihad, Man City and Spurs drew after an extra time goal was disallowed due to a new handball rule (plus a dash of VAR*). Earlier in the game, Aguero was substituted and had an argument with Pep on the touchline. Later it was all cuddles as they made up. Pochettino was keen to have a cuddle too. Eriksen was also seen making a cheeky joke with the Man City manager. This leads us all to ask: what does Pep Guardiola smell like? What draws people into his orbit like this?
New boys Norwich won against Newcastle with a hat trick from sweet boy Teemu Pukki (don't worry, dear fans, we'll be getting to know more about Norwich, their poetic manager Farke, and Pukki soon). Acclaimed author and Newcastle manager Steve Bruce was sad about this result, but not as upset as this Kick It In The Goal editor is about the Newcastle kit.
Onto Liverpool against Southampton, the latter of which have the silliest socks and will be known for the rest of the season as Sockhampton, and the Kloppy Klopps scored two goals but couldn't keep a clean sheet (a silly goal was given away).
I'm afraid, dear fans, that it's been a long day covering these three games and I am unable to summarise any others. I have important research on Pep's capsule wardrobe to attend to.
. *If you're in a conversation about VAR and you don't know what to say, may we suggest "I'm just worried it's ruining the pace of the game" followed by a concerned or aggravated sigh. People will appreciate your contribution as professional and knowledgable because this sentiment is the thing that television pundits say. That and "but what about the enjoyment of the fans in the stadium?". Here at Kick It In The Goal we are bored of that already.