Important new link in Bio.
Some people may scoff at what I'm going to write here, and some may even take offense to part of it, but, one thing that @littlejerryboy 's mom, Georgia, has shown me this year is the importance of getting past the fear of being judged or ridiculed and overcoming feelings of embarrassment, in order to discuss critical things that need to be discussed - especially if talking about something could end up HELPING someone else who is living, silently, in pain.
Losing my only sister in July 2014, my life long closest friend and one of the most amazing peeps who has ever lived on this planet, brought on a level of grief, pain, forlorness and an utter feeling of despair, detachment and a sense of having come untethered from my one sure mooring in this world.
At the time, I had no real source of help or consolation. She had been my one and only source. I didn't seek grief counseling (which I was advised to do) and at the time that she passed , I had been spiritually disconnected for 20 years. (That has recently begun to heal.) But, at the time of her passing, there was nothing but darkness. Absence. My one saving grace, of course, was my sweet Tay. (Thank God.) He got me through the days/nights. Caring for him was my only source of momentum. And, things stayed in the shadows like that, unchanged, until one day near the end of Jan 2015, when, while walking Tay in FL, he and I encountered Rocco. A gift. The first spark of light in the dark. And, by the time I finished watching Rocco for 3 weeks that summer, my fog had been lifted. Being with Rocco finally brought me renewed inspiration and engerized me. It was the first thing that made me feel connected to something good again.
Losing Rocco feels as bad, and in some ways, has been more shocking and jarring than losing my sister. Like I said, I realize some people won't 'get' that.
And, the fact that most of the 'real people' in my life (not you, IG friends) but my fam, acquaintances, etc., don't get it --> makes this even harder to bear.
That is why I was so glad to find this article online late last night. It just helps to have an affirmation that the way I'm feeling...is to be expected.