Wow, 10 years goes fast 😳 Yet at the same time sooooo slow!!!
It’s mad to think, but I officially can say, I’ve lived a whole decade in constant pain (nearly 11 years to be precise) 😬 How is that possible?
I’d like to say I’m a pro at it now and manage it effortlessly, but that would be a lie. Although I do feel more accepting that this is the life I am to lead, I still struggle daily to cope with it all. No two days are ever the same and after years of meds and trying didn’t things, I’ve learnt that with a chronic illness, the true things that help, are pacing yourself, taking each day as it’s comes, trying to be kinder to yourself and surrounding yourself with empathic, compassionate and loving people ❤️ That being said, it’s far easier said than done! Life, or should I say our society doesn’t make it that simple. The constant judgement and lack of understanding from others, the fast paced world we now live in, the want to push myself, yet protect myself, all plays a big part in why I still can’t balance my illnesses 🤦🏼♀️ I’m forever learning and trying to be a better person for it, but I also know the girl you see in the 2009 picture has slowly disappeared! She’s definitely harder, bitter, lost, and hopeless, but also kinder in ways, more loving, not so naive and real. The thing I definitely know that’s the same, is that her heart is in the right place and although she still hasn’t figured out all the answers, she’s still searching and forever trying to learn to be a better version of herself 🥰
Physically I’ve been up and down (literally), as being constantly unwell affects your physical appearance (due to lack of being able to be as active etc) and the pounds have come on and off over the years, creating a whole new load of insecurities 🤦🏼♀️ Yet at the same time, opened me up to appreciating all body types and how beautiful they are 😘 One thing I’m sad to say hasn’t changed, is how I perceive my face (not through the want of trying), I’m very aware Body Dysmorphic Disorder could be a contributor to why this is the case and I know I’ll forever be working on how I go about accepting what I look like.....
Continued Below ⬇️