February 15, 2019.
Our little man is 37 weeks corrected gestational age today. In all reality, this was our due date, because our doctor would not let me go past 37 weeks. If I would have still been pregnant this past week, either an induction or a C-section would have been scheduled.
I’ve definitely been thinking about what it would have been like to carry to “full term” and bring both of our babies home. 💔 Our life would have looked completely different.
I’ve also been thinking about the day I gave birth. That night, we had a final ultrasound to confirm that Noah did in fact have no heartbeat, but they were also looking to see how Liam was doing. After having confirmed that Noah had in fact passed away, the doctor told us that Liam was not looking very good. He had extra fluid in his chest cavity and head and amniotic sac. She told us I was having a C-section that night to get Liam out. He most likely would not have survived if he would not have been delivered. So so much to process that night—Noah passing away, an emergency surgery I was not mentally prepared for, not knowing if Liam would be okay...among all the other emotions I remember the intense fear I had that I was going to lose my second baby. 😢 As they took Liam from my body, the doctor said “Baby A ruptured [meaning from the amniotic sac], 1:54AM.” Simultaneously, I heard Liam’s strong first cry. I joined him, happy crying. That was the best sound I could have heard. The first thing the doctors told me about Liam after the C-section was: “he’s a lot feistier than we thought he would be!” ♥️ It was so scary seeing him in the NICU those first few days, a machine breathing for him, under lights for jaundice, multiple IVs and monitors, but I was so so thankful for each day that went by that he slowly and surely progressed and grew.
All that to say, yes, today is a hard day, but more than anything I am so incredibly thankful to have Liam doing so well and slowly but surely getting ready to go home. I didn’t know that first day if I would bring any babies home.