Hiya. The last time I posted on here I was in the North Sea. I haven’t posted since because in completely unforeseen circumstances, I was blown up the coast. I was almost picked up by a Peterhead fishing boat named “Peters Heed,” I heard them shouting “what a whopper, let’s catch her, she’s enough meat on her thighs to feed Mintlaw for a week.” But I escaped them💪🏼. I was then thrown into the river, where I began drifting down the River Ugie, like a sexy salmon. Basically it was either “get out and post on Instagram” or “keep floating and have a good story to tell.” I thought to myself “What would our followers tell me to do?” They’d tell me to float the fuck on. So I did. .
As I was told by a break-dancing priest in a New Orleans back alley, “Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story.” So I never.