I woke up one day and realised it was raining
Were those the tears for years I’ve been withholding?
I guess it was time I confronted my fucked up life
As I didn’t open my eyes and move,
I wasn’t sleeping.
I simply stopped keeping my heart closed,
Stopped hating the things I believed in
I guess I finally learned to let go,
To embrace my past and kiss my demons
Thankful to the tears, for growing who I am,
Tears of blood, bleeding from my heart.
I guess I’ve had enough regrets, deep remorse,
Is it my fault I wanted more?
I had to accept the bad and live with it all,
I would no longer sink into depression,
For the same pointless reason, ‘cause you’re gone,
And you never loved me. That was your confession.
Couldn’t cope with the fact that I thought one day
I’d reach joy by crawling back to you,
And that I eventually had myself destroyed,
That no one cared, all alone, forgotten,
In the middle of nowhere among bottles of alcohol;
Cheap liquor to soothe my mind (life) with a sweeter flavour.
That criminal essence had to end, and only myself the one to amend.
As ever since you betrayed me, the Heaven I used to walk through is now my Hell,
but I keep walking through the flames.
I no longer feel as if I were an empty vessel
I no longer feel sorry nor worry, my soul not even threatened. ‘Cause whenever this fox hits the floor
It’ll be for me, not for you.
Not anymore. I guess I’ve willingly chosen to fuck with my fucked up life;
There’s no love without hate, no present without past,
And no Heaven without Hell.
That’s all right with me.
What else should I tell?
The ones I shared my life (body) with
Were not the ones I truly heartfelt
And given my anxiety,
The loneliness and brutality
My soul was getting ripped up, my mind was breaking down.
I was falling in love, in hate, in both. Would get myself high,
As long as I had drugs
To kiss my heart goodbye,
Just seeking opportunities
And forgetting ‘bout real life.
But that’s all gone,
This post is part of a Halloween Special.
To my surprise, @edek.ku came up with a very halloweeny photo concept that now embodies this English-written piece of poetry. Enjoy.