𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐏 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆. This is the 𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄 question to ask before committing to your future partner... ready?
1. Do you... like wine? 🍷
KIDDING. All jokes aside that is pretty important, but here are my five ACTUAL questions you shouldn’t skip out on.
1. What kind of life space are they in?
You see, life space is very different than asking what they want in life. Someone may want kids, but you may want them in two years... and they’re thinking more in like ten 😬 It’s important for you to find out where they’re at and listen to them... because chances are, you aren’t changing that.
2. How do they deal with conflict?
A while back I wrote on my blog about how important communication AND conflict styles are. The @gottmaninstitute warns against the four horseman of conflict (contempt, defensiveness, criticism, and stonewalling). These toxic styles will get you nowhere. So pay attention if your partner leans into any of them... and instead look for someone who will approach conflict in a gentle, constructive manner.
3. Do they value the same core concepts as you?
Be it faith, how you treat others, living style, fancy vs frugal.... do you match? Be honest. There is only so much room to compromise before you need to take a step back and assess if you actually “fit” together. If your whole relationship means “giving up” who you are... then it might be the wrong one.
4. Are you comfortable with their heart?
If something feels off about how they carry their heart, pay attention. How they treat others is a key indicator of how they will treat you. Is their heart is warm, soft, and forgiving? Or is it hard, callous, and cold? Feel that out.
5. Is there room for equal growth?
I don’t know about you, but I want someone who I can grow with. So being with a partner who refuses to improve would be tough. If your partner prefers to stay stagnant and you prefer to flourish... there might not be a lot of room to evolve into better people together in your union.
Now, those are my questions - what are YOURS? 🤔
(Photo by @thevictoriablaire)