I can't look at her, not like this. Not when she is crying because of me. I always fuck up, and always will. That's because I'm a fucked up person, I can't love anyone, I am not even capable of love. I literally fucking grew up this way. I write a note for her, with every syllable my heart breaks into more billion pieces. 'I have never been good for you, but I always loved you, more than I ever loved myself. Yes this pompous asshole of yours is saying that. I want you to be happier, which you'll never be with me. I'm sorry but I've to leave. If you ever wanna come back to me (don't do it, I'm fucked up) then contact this number. Love you xx.' I sign it off. Just as I proceed to leave, with my bags. I forgot one last thing. I went back to her, kissed her hand, she looked up. I handed her the note and left. I don't know what is this, but I'm going crazy. I run to my car throw my bag in backseat and leave. My eyes are stinging from tears but I don't care. She deserves more than what I can offer.
It's been 4 hours since I'm sitting in this abandoned building. She already have called 57 times, now it's the 58th. I never used this phone, until now. I pick up the call and say, "Love. Please, I'm doing it for your own good." She is sobbing, I close my eyes I can't process the pain. "You said that you'll never leave me, then why now? You make me happiest. How can you think that I can even breathe without you, asshole. I don't know anything I need you, I need you my asshole. Where in the heavens did you disappear. How could you? You, asshole, comeback home please. Comeback home." She said. Tears whelmed in my eyes again. "But love I'm a broken mess, I'm so fucked up that my name can be definition of fucked up. I'm just doing it for your own good. Please, understand-" I couldn't complete before she interrupted me. "No buts. No fucking buts. You are coming back to home." "Okay, I'll be there within an hour." I said, I can't argue, knowing that she is crying.
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