You have no idea what people are going through or their story, so please be kind.
I want something serious, but first, I need to learn how to love myself more and fix myself.
High school taught me that you can not be yourself and if you were being yourself for a split second, you would be judged and being judged is something that I don’t take lightly.. I remember one morning that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed (it wasn’t the first) and that I didn’t want to get out of bed, put makeup on or go to school, but I eventually got out of bed. I didn’t put makeup on and when I got to school.. people would say, “are you sick” or they would just give me a look and keep their distance. Not wearing makeup wasn’t accepted by other people. I remember that night that I cried myself to sleep. So.. the next day I put makeup on and people would give me compliments and I would feel visible again. That was one of the endless cycles that I was in. All I’ve ever wanted was to be accepted by people, but that’s different now. High school also taught me who your real friends are.. and I honestly feel like I have one, but one is enough for me. She’s amazing and I would NOT trade her for anything in this world. I can honestly say now that you should be yourself regardless of what other people think of you and do what makes YOU happy first before anyone else!! God was by my side the whole time and if it wasn’t for him and my family.. I would not be here..
Prom is honestly not my thing, but Jonathan has made it SOO much fun for me and I would NOT have asked anyone else. Thank you again for coming with me to prom.
I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS! I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS! I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS!
There will be stories told by people where something horrible happened to them, but there will ALWAYS be someone else with a way worse story. I can honestly say that I’m one of those people who have it worse.. but I hope that my story is as beautiful as a sunset/sunrise when I’m gone one day..
I’d say that I look pretty intimidating and cute as hell in this military cap.
~The sad truth~
Society taught me at a young age that I should wear makeup and if I don’t, I’m either invisible or just made fun of.. so I wear makeup, because it makes feel better about myself and it makes me feel confident than me not wearing makeup. When I wear makeup people compliment me about my makeup or say that I look pretty, but when I don’t wear makeup, people don’t say anything to me and I honestly feel invisible.. Now since I’m done with high school.. I want to learn how to love myself for who I am and all of my flaws, because loving yourself is something that is soooo important!
She was a work of art. Not everyone will understand her, but the ones who do, will never forget about her.
Spring is here!
I can honestly admit.. I feel like I don’t fully love myself yet. I feel that way, because on my worst days.. I do absolutely nothing. I just lie in bed or watch tv all day long just to distract myself/prevent myself from losing control and having my thoughts spin around like a tornado. I do absolutely nothing, because I literally don’t feel like doing anything. If my hair is dirty, I will not take a shower. If my mom says that I have chores to do, I will not do them and etc. If I fully loved myself, I would go get out of the house and do something nice for either myself or do something nice to someone else to make myself feel better, but no. I don’t. I make myself sad. I make myself sad.