My body and weight are two of my biggest insecurities, growing up i was a chubby kid and a lot of people would make fun of me because of that and I let them do it without saying a single thing. Then I started to starve myself in order to drop/ loose a lot of weight as a way of response to all the hate that I was getting just because of my physical appearance, I got very sick because of that, then I recover and started to eat again but it just wasn’t the same, I started to see food as “the enemy”, it’s a difficult journey, and i truly would want to say that the bullying about my physical appearance stoped there, but that just wouldn’t be the true, in the present a lot of people say comments about my weight and my body and a lot of people just don’t understand why I have such an unhealthy relationship with the food. At the end of the day everybody has insecurities and nobody’s perfect and we should never judge or make fun of someone because of their physical appearance, this used to be embarrassing to me because i am a man and “ men are not supposed to suffer these things” but this is more common than we believe, a LOT of men do fight with body/weight issues and eating disorders and nobody should be ashamed to seek for help !
“ I can't handle these pressures; all I can say is this stress hurts
Things are supposed to get better
I just need to put myself first
I'm always trying my hardest not to pick myself apart
This energy's killin' my vibes now
Sometimes I just wanna to drown out
All of the thoughts in my mind
Too much going on at the same time
I wish it would stop and I've tried .... but I’m empty inside “ -Olivia O’Brien.
~ I've come to a point in life where I can say that there's nothing more hard than trust in somebody else, I mean, why would you trust me ? If i swear to you that I would never disappoint you would you believe me ? I wouldn't believe myself.
Sometimes I want to be alone, when I am at my home thinking about all the things I've done and start thinking about the future and about my life, how life isn't what we used to think it was when we were kids running in the backyard, I had less worries than I have right now and I know for sure that in a couple years I am gonna have a lot more things to worry about, that's how life works, life is not just one big cycle, it is more and i make the decision to believe that we are here for a big purpose and not just to live a simple comfortable life.
Would you believe me if I tell you that Iam perfect ? Neither would I believe myself.
Today I make the decision to not just only stop trusting in myself but also to put ALL my trust on somebody else who's got my future on His hands and would never ever disappoint me, He has given his life for me. ~ •Cams Thoughts•
• I'm writing down my dreams, all I'd like to see starting with the bees or else they're gonna die, there won't be no trees or air for us to breath, I'll start feeling mad but then I feel inspired, thinking bout' the days, coming home with dirty feet or playing with my dad all day in te creek, he somehow has a way of knowing what to say, so when I'm feeling sad he makes me feel inspired• -inspired I hope you feel inspired
The sun is setting and you're right here by my side, and the movie is playing but we won't be watching tonight, every look and every touch makes me wanna give you my heart, i'd be crushing on you baby, stay the way you are -