It really is a choice, "happiness". You do choose how your energy flows, where your thoughts float. Pay attention. The more you practice being present, being grateful, the more natural it becomes. Choose love.
Know what's beautiful about love? That there's enough to go around. Abundantly. Leave as much as you want in your past. Throw as much as you want out into a hopeful future. All of that love is right here, right now. Spread that shit. I promise you won't run out.
"I've been up on the mountain
And I've seen his wondrous grace,
I've sat there on a barstool and I've looked him in the face.
He seemed a little haggard, but it did not slow him down,
He was hummin' to the neon of the Universal Sound..."
~ Tyler Childers - Universal Sound
Do yourself a favor and have a listen. Happy Monday, All.
"'Don't tax yourself trying to figure it out,' he said as if he were reading my thoughts. 'The world is a mystery. This, what you're looking at, is not all there is to it. There is much more to the world, so much more, in fact, that it is endless. So when you're trying to figure it out, all you're really doing is trying to make the world familiar. You and I are right here, in the world you call real, simply because we both know it. You don't know the world of power, therefore you cannot make it a familiar scene.'"
~ Carlos Castenda, Journey to Ixtlan
I once packed up my car and drove across the country to a new beginning. I once packed up my backpack and walked across a lot of that same country for the sake of adventure. Always with companions, of course, but mentally proclaiming all the while that I was brave and independent. That I was conquering repetition, pattern, and routine.
But here's the thing: You can change all of your external scenery while still keeping your same internal crutches. Your new endeavor will have new people, places, and activities to quickly fill any void that you want to ignore. It really is comparably EASY to change the scene on the stage by digging through, sorting out, and moving around your physical belongings and environment.
But then you realize that you've got to create movement for your inner shit, too. You've got to dig it all out from the long forgotten spaces you've stashed it. You'll be amazed at what you find when you start peeling back the layers. Those patterns you thought you were evading? There they are. Just below the surface. You've got to examine, INTENSELY, and then decide whether you let it go or bring that shit along with you into this moment. And this one. And this one...
It's a lot less fun than decorating a new apartment or making new drinking buddies. It's a hell of a lot more work than a few days of hauling boxes (even boxes of books, trust me) in the hot Florida sun. But this space, my beautiful love, is where the real adventure lies.
I'll let you know one day if it's worth it. ;) #happyfullmoon
"Without the human world, "heaven" or the spiritual life is just a dream. And without heaven or spirituality, the human world is a nightmare. The two hold each other in balance. This is the middle way. Not getting stuck in a dream, not getting stuck in a nightmare, but fully and completely waking up right at the zero point where the two meet -- dream and nightmare, pray and play, pleasure and worship, Friday night fucking and Sunday morning sacraments."
~ Shozan Jack Haubner, Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk
No one steps onto their mat and executes perfect advanced asana on day one. No one expects them to. We show up, meet ourselves where we're at, and we work on the basics until our bodies slowly start to change. The progress takes years and is literally never-ending. As yogis, we accept and embrace this.
Why, then, is it so much harder to hold space for our internal processes? When we identify our areas inside needing work, sometimes we expect the change to come simultaneously with that awareness. Usually, though, it takes time. Infinite moments of awareness compounding. There are always mistakes. We lapse into unconsciousness and old, repetitive habits and patterns. We are often hardest on ourselves in these moments, forgetting that we are attempting centuries worth of deconditioning and expecting it to take place overnight. Over a meditation. Over a ceremony or two. Over a well-intentioned practice. Over a full moon. We get frustrated and even feel guilty when it doesn't.
I invite you then, to be gentle on yourself instead. Be patient. Be quiet. Keep holding the space, right now. Realize that awareness isn't a magic wand of pheonix feather and elder. It's a tiny seed that needs nurturing, a tiny spark that needs tended. One day, it will flower. One day, it will burn. Maybe that's today, or maybe that's 100 lifetimes from now. Change takes time -- sometimes a lot of it. And that's okay, because time doesn't really exist anyway, right? Just do your work.
"Don't go looking for the reasons.
Don't go asking Jesus why.
We're not meant to know the answers.
They belong to the by and by..."
~ Chris Stapleton, Broken Halos