Mr.J@jayzakh

San Francisco Bay Area
Pictures&Poetry
Zakh of all trades
DM for Rates
YouTube: Jayzakh
⬇️Wedding/family ⬇️

Instagram.com/jayzakhphotography

95 posts 3,998 followers 286 following

Mr.J

I've traveled as far as these battered sails would take me even if I threw everything I ever loved overboard to save myself from the weight of their sinking anchors. I might have amassed the richest of treasures but no amount feeds my hunger to replace what I once had. I buried my sorrows in money, flesh, even tried to deal my soul with the devil to become whole again. I stand here in the middle of the ocean so far and wide with remnants of the tides of lovers lost to ever growing waters bound to deaf ears. What I want is long gone but I intend to chase it with the last remaining will I have left. Anchors may bring the end of me as I deliver it to the sea. Let my last breath be known as I try to follow my treasures into the afterlife, perhaps I'd be lucky to even witness their existence once again.

model: @bribri_depp

#model #photography #bayareaphotographer #portraitpage #portraitcentral #gramslayers #agameoftones #portraitstream #earth_portraits #portraitmood #moodyports #discoverportraits #moodygrams #pursuitofportraits #portraitgames #disney #portraitparadise #depthobsessed #portraitvisuals #portraitfolk #gramkilla #piratesofthecarribean #theportraitculture #portraitlegacy #portraitsquad #portraitfeed #portrait #poetry #woman #disneyland


10

Mr.J

We brought out the worst from each other creating monsters that bathed in red in our weakest times. I forgave you but I was unable to forget the things your monster would say to me that pierced even the strongest part of my will. It broke into a irreversible pain that could not even be remedied by the simple touch we so long ago prospered with. Our demons incubated in our fury waiting to unleash the next series of wrath onto one another. We are similar, almost mirror images of each other but perhaps that's why I can't continue this farce of a fairy tale we use in disguise for the war that we declare back and forth. If we fail to act, this world of ours will shatter down to the core ejecting us into a space unreachable by the help we would scream for internally. I wish I could change your heart but then again I don't want to wish for the best version of you, I want that to be your wish. And so as you lay here in a angelic slumber, I write to you a simple goodbye and I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. If you simply can't....... then let your demon destroy the remaining fragments of our bond even if I stitched it with the last ounce of love I had left to pour in it.- Jayzakh

Models: @allyshaleonard & @ispy_laurelei

#model #photography #bayareaphotographer #portraitpage #portraitcentral #gramslayers #agameoftones #portraitstream #earth_portraits #portraitmood #moodyports #discoverportraits #moodygrams #pursuitofportraits #portraitgames #expofilm #portraitparadise #depthobsessed #portraitvisuals #portraitfolk #gramkilla #777luckyfish #theportraitculture #portraitlegacy #portraitsquad #portraitfeed #portrait #poetry #woman #ourmoodydays


15

Mr.J

I can't sleep as it seems as though I took a red eye every night for the past year. I feel like this isn't the time zone I belong in. Even my own breath in the morning  hours feel like a foreign language that I can't even grasp no matter how many times it repeats phrases. I feel that we have become pen pals in the worst possible way. I swear that I felt your skin at one moment in this fleeting youth trying to defy time with it's energy and might. Now all I feel when I embrace you is scales that cause me to hesitate each time you lay your fingers on me. You say there's something wrong with me every time I do not beckon to your cries for me to regress in who I was when you met me. For you, that is the best part of me....the only version of me you desire. I tried to be that person to keep you from dropping an anchor full of guilt on my hull trying to sink me. Baby, I can't be who I was anymore and I know it'll kill you to hear that so I let a silent painful chuckle to appease your heart knowing one day it'll tear me open so much that even what's leftover of me will feel like a relic you need to erase with another - Jayzakh

Model: @justine_vivian

#model #photography #bayareaphotographer #portraitpage #portraitcentral #gramslayers #agameoftones #portraitstream #earth_portraits #portraitmood #moodyports #discoverportraits #moodygrams #pursuitofportraits #portraitgames #expofilm #portraitparadise #depthobsessed #portraitvisuals #portraitfolk #gramkilla #portraits_mf #theportraitculture #portraitlegacy #portraitsquad #portraitfeed #portrait #poetry #woman #ourmoodydays


15

Mr.J

I have become tethered to this non stop pain of mine. I can't stop bringing myself to feel this because knowing this pain reminds me what I felt like when I thought they only happened in tragic Shakespearean plays. These eyes of mine have lost their magic and I feel like I should lay what hope I have down and let it sink into the ground never to sprout with life again. I pitch myself with situations which would bring me a smile on my doorstep. Where do I go if I leave this orb? For a far as my eyes can see lay vast lands of darkness unforgiving to exploration. I know I must leave this spotlight that protects me from the unknown but I'd like to revel in the ecstasy in pain just a bit longer

Model: @wearyblues

#model #photography #bayareaphotographer #portraitpage #portraitcentral #gramslayers #agameoftones #portraitstream #earth_portraits #portraitmood #moodyports #discoverportraits #moodygrams #pursuitofportraits #portraitgames #expofilm #portraitparadise #depthobsessed #portraitvisuals #portraitfolk #gramkilla #portraits_mf #theportraitculture #portraitlegacy #portraitsquad #portraitfeed #portrait #poetry #woman #ourmoodydays


13

Mr.J

I thought I had more time, more time to say I'm sorry, more time to ask how your day was. When I kept all these in my heart trying to find the time to do it, you flew away. Will you see what my heart wanted but my body did not fulfill? I won't get this time again so I ask the skies to send my message to you through the winds of regret. My skin shredded the last memory of you with guilt that can crush the world in a instant. I fend of my fear of this snake because though it is viewed as the cold blood killer it tries to find warmth in any way possible while forsaken in the eyes of others. Have I killed you in cold blood or have I killed the part of me that loves you? The chance for me to say I love you has slithered away into the tall grass of the abyss far out the reach of the living. Wait for me, I promise I'm not a cold blooded monster.....at least I hope it isn't factual

Model: @deisy_leonn
Snakes provided by: @exoticsbyandrea
Published in: @solismagazine

#model #photography #bayareaphotographer #portraitpage #portraitcentral #gramslayers #agameoftones #portraitstream #earth_portraits #portraitmood #moodyports #discoverportraits #moodygrams #pursuitofportraits #portraitgames #expofilm #portraitparadise #depthobsessed #portraitvisuals #portraitfolk #gramkilla #777luckyfish #theportraitculture #portraitlegacy #portraitsquad #portraitfeed #portrait #poetry #woman #ourmoodydays


51

Mr.J

You asked me what would I do for you, I asked myself that even after I said anything. I could follow you anywhere even if it led to the defamation of my soul. Bringing tattered ruins to my eyes. I would even become lifeless in order to make you smile once more. But what I couldn't do is keep growing these bed of flowers even well after you refused to let it rain on them. I thirst for you like a wanderer lost in the desert begging the unseen for water. I realized that I can beg so much until it knocks sense in to me that this isn't the garden of Eden, it can't even support a single life form. This is just another garden you burned along your selfish path. I still thrive for you but I'll have to silence it for not even this humiliation is worth losing it just for a chance to hear you say you love me as I love you
Model: @ispy_laurelei
Published in: @shubamagazine
Bonquet hoarder: @neverwong_photography
#model #photography #bayareaphotographer #portraitpage #portraitcentral #gramslayers #agameoftones #portraitstream #earth_portraits #portraitmood #moodyports #discoverportraits #moodygrams #pursuitofportraits #portraitgames #expofilm #portraitparadise #depthobsessed #portraitvisuals #portraitfolk #gramkilla #777luckyfish #theportraitculture #portraitlegacy #portraitsquad #portraitfeed #portrait #poetry #woman #ourmoodydays


56

Mr.J

Seams of light that poured courageously through my bedroom window hoping to light up these hollow eyes of mine. I refuse to admit them as they were an life long enemy extending a olive branch for truce. I want to lose the part of me that hopes like a foolish child wanting to claim the stars only to find in their twilight years that they could only grasp the ground beneath them. I am not pessimistic, I just realize to put your heart into something only to have it torn to shreds. I dread having that hope again yet for some strange reason I want to try one more time even if it means leaping off this summit with broken wings wishing it will start working again

Model: @nevereverly_

#model #photography #bayareaphotographer #portraitpage #portraitcentral #gramslayers #agameoftones #portraitstream #earth_portraits #portraitmood #moodyports #discoverportraits #moodygrams #pursuitofportraits #portraitgames #expofilm #portraitparadise #depthobsessed #portraitvisuals #portraitfolk #gramkilla #777luckyfish #theportraitculture #portraitlegacy #portraitsquad #portraitfeed #portrait #poetry #woman #ourmoodydays


43

Mr.J

It was easier for her to sleep somewhere she didn't believe for dreams would not keep her up in the night. It would not show her the cage that kept her passion prisoned. She would not see what she can really do if she set her foot in the path not just meant for her but a path that she wanted to walk on. There would be no obstacles which torment her until she abolished each and every one. So she couldn't feed off the pain from love to propel her into the misty sky. For she couldn't reach her hands and grab a droplet of dreams craving more each time she attempted to. But that was her curse, she believed...even if the world ceased to. The phoenix could never be broken for as soon as it dies, it is reborn into something spectacular shattering the bars of it's bird cage even if no one believed it so

Model: @alyssamage
Published in: @shubamagazine
#model #photography #bayareaphotographer #portraitpage #portraitcentral #gramslayers #agameoftones #portraitstream #earth_portraits #portraitmood #moodyports #discoverportraits #moodygrams #pursuitofportraits #portraitgames #expofilm #portraitparadise #depthobsessed #portraitvisuals #portraitfolk #gramkilla #777luckyfish #theportraitculture #portraitlegacy #portraitsquad #portraitfeed #portrait #poetry #woman #ourmoodydays


28

Mr.J

The hardwood felt more stale than usual as I laid on my back with the sun stealing my vision occasionally. As uncomfortable it was, I didn't have the motivation to get up. I want to blur all these memories I shared with you that surrounds me like a unskippable cut scene. I tried throwing everything I could yet I can't throw my heart away even though it loves to torture itself repeating the smile you shined on me tied with the bitterness that it won't happen again. Tell me, was I not enough to keep you happy? Did I fall short somewhere? I feel like without you, I've become a gag reel, just never ending ironic divine comedy filled with my mishaps. Perhaps when these lines created by shadows become whole, it'll dampen you just a bit where I'll be able to reclaim this space as mine instead of ours

Models: @kayfulls & @bibi_kun_
Wardrobe: @lovejuliawild

#model #photography #bayareaphotographer #portraitpage #portraitcentral #gramslayers #agameoftones #portraitstream #earth_portraits #portraitmood #moodyports #discoverportraits #moodygrams #pursuitofportraits #portraitgames #expofilm #portraitparadise #depthobsessed #portraitvisuals #portraitfolk #gramkilla #777luckyfish #theportraitculture #portraitlegacy #portraitsquad #portraitfeed #portrait #poetry #woman #ourmoodydays


24

Mr.J

I don't have what I had to offer years ago when I was just budding in what I thought would be a planned out, perfect life. I'm filled with a heart that has been dropped more than I could count. My gaze has lost it's light over and over during the cold rainy days when nothing was certain. My habits have gotten worse ten fold even though I know what the problem is. I felt hate like a never ending energy of vengeance searching for it's victim. I  felt betrayal like a sheer cutting through dreams as if it was a piece of paper. And here I am, to offer you not just who I was but a thousand versions of me that had defects, brokenness , hopelessness. But I'm still human, aren't I? Give me a chance to give you another version of me, hopefully one I am proud of, one I can smile to in the mirror

Model: @sativa_grace
Inspired by: @camilladerrico
Published in: @imiragemagazine
#model #photography #bayareaphotographer #portraitpage #portraitcentral #gramslayers #agameoftones #portraitstream #earth_portraits #portraitmood #moodyports #discoverportraits #moodygrams #pursuitofportraits #portraitgames #expofilm #portraitparadise #depthobsessed #portraitvisuals #portraitfolk #gramkilla #777luckyfish #theportraitculture #portraitlegacy #portraitsquad #portraitfeed #portrait #poetry #woman #ourmoodydays


53

Mr.J

Time has been my friend when I wished it would just skip ahead to the best parts of my life yet I realize it is a foe when the time slips beneath my feet as though it was just washing away my youth until an older version of me stalks my inner youth like a unavoidable tragedy in the mirror. If I give you my time, will you be the one that absorbs it dry in vain or will you make the water I pour flourish this hopeful seed I have planted for us. The thing that scares me most is not only you can trampled this seed of mine, but anyone or anything can in a moment's notice. Maybe I might be the culprit one day, if my eyes close for the last time unintentionally. Even when I perish, don't let my legacy die. Let it bloom with the remembrance of what I once made you feel, of my insignificant yet monumental existence. At least I believe so

Model: @bibi_kun_
#model #photography #bayareaphotographer #portraitpage #portraitcentral #gramslayers #agameoftones #portraitstream #earth_portraits #portraitmood #moodyports #discoverportraits #moodygrams #pursuitofportraits #portraitgames #expofilm #portraitparadise #depthobsessed #portraitvisuals #portraitfolk #gramkilla #777luckyfish #theportraitculture #portraitlegacy #portraitsquad #portraitfeed #portrait #poetry #woman #ourmoodydays


31

Mr.J

I've seen you fall from the peak you once showed me the world and how beautiful it can be. The person I see before has the decadence of someone I didn't believe you could have become. I'm left holding you but at the cost of me being enveloped in this wicked nature that has caught hold of your golden heart. Do I close my hands and let you go or or close my mind and let myself fall from stability into the depths of the abyss that is hungry for your character? Forgive me for even if I would follow you to the ends of the earth, I cannot slip into hell for I will never return to the grounds that we once called home. I let you go even at the expense of losing a piece of me as tribute for you once were the epitome of my bliss at one point in time

Model: @isabellaaa.garcia

#model #photography #bayareaphotographer #portraitpage #portraitcentral #gramslayers #agameoftones #portraitstream #earth_portraits #portraitmood #moodyports #discoverportraits #moodygrams #pursuitofportraits #portraitgames #expofilm #portraitparadise #depthobsessed #portraitvisuals #portraitfolk #gramkilla #777luckyfish #theportraitculture #portraitlegacy #portraitsquad #portraitfeed #portrait #poetry #woman #ourmoodydays


50