Home made lasagna designed by you!
♡ Your ingredients my magic! Inquiries Lovingmylasagna@yahoo.com ♡
276 posts 682 followers 644 following
A 70 year old man asked his wife, “Do you feel sad when you see me running after young girls?”
Wife replied, “No, not at all. Even dogs chase cars they can’t drive!” ♀️.....🧓🏼
Miami, Florida 2 48
It’s Friday and I’ve been putting up with bullshit all week. 🤨🤭🤫🤬
Don’t talk to me unless you’re asking if I want it frozen or “on the rocks.” ♀️ ♀️
Miami, Florida 2 44
Cleaning with kids in the house is like trying to brush your teeth while eating Oreos. ....#lobster #muenstercheese #picodegallo #homemadeyumyumsauce
Miami, Florida 7 68
Be nice to the receptionist. She can send you to hold Hell.
Miami, Florida 4 53
Did anyone ever notice that “STUDYING” is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?
Miami, Florida 3 48
Thursday. The most useless day. It only exists as a reminder that it’s been a really long week...and it’s still not over. ......
Miami, Florida 2 42
Are my “political” posts annoying you? Sorry. I thought the future of our planet was worth discussing. By all means, show me another picture of your dinner.
Miami, Florida 5 54
If ever I go my missing, I want my face on a wine bottle instead of a milk carton so that only fun, classy people find me. ...♀️
What do you call a week without a Wednesday? Humphrey (Hump Free).
Miami, Florida 3 65
If you find some motivation lying on the ground, please give it back. It’s mine.
Miami, Florida 4 74
Don’t be distracted by criticism...Remember the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite of you...Zig Ziglar @thezigziglar
Miami, Florida 3 64
I don’t get why people find drunk texts annoying. You’re the only person they are thinking of when their brain can’t even function properly. ♂️
Miami, Florida 10 64
I can’t tell if I’m dealing well with life these days or I just don’t give a shit any more.
Miami, Florida 2 51
”Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” ♡...s/o @rodnastyz
Miami, Florida 4 60
The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink!
Miami, Florida 3 54
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple ‘Thank you’ is all I need...Not all this ‘How did you get into my house?’ business. ♀️
Miami, Florida 8 56
My New Year’s resolution is to stop kidding myself about lifestyle changes. Nobody likes a cheap, skinny, sober bitch anyway...
Miami, Florida 2 40
All men should make coffee for their women. It says it right in the Bible, “HEBREW”.
Miami, Florida 1 54
For the fifth time...I don’t wanna come to your cat’s birthday party, freak. My dog is getting married that day. .........♡ ♡
Miami, Florida 9 92
I’d tell you to kiss my ass but I’m pretty sure you will fall in love with me then I would never be able to get rid of you. s/o @kamilaghunaimm @nickyjampr
Miami, Florida 4 44
I have an eating disorder. I’m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
Miami, Florida 4 61
Hey there, Friday! Welcome back you sexy son of a bitch! We’ve been looking for you since Monday
I stuffed the turkey full of Xanax so we can all have a relaxing holiday this year
: Well hello there. You look like a bad decision, come on over here. ♡
Miami, Florida 7 59
Instead of a John I call my bathroom Jim. It sounds better when I say I went to the Jim first thing in the morning.
Miami, Florida 7 65
Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna wrap named Eric.
Miami, Florida 4 37
Doctor & Patient
⚕️: Seems like you have a case of being a little bitch. I’m prescribing you a heavy dose of man the fuck up. :
Miami, Florida 2 36
Do not reward yourself with food. You’re not a dog...
Miami, Florida 1 57
I wish the “esc” key could help me escape work today.
Miami, Florida 1 48
Get your fat pants ready, Thanksgiving is almost here!
Miami, Florida 1 58