Guys, I have 5 minutes left of my birthday. So I am going to squeak this post in before the day is over. First things first. My wife is AMAZING! She threw me a surprise birthday party and it was so fun. I have always wanted a surprise party and it was as good as I thought it would be. I got to see great friends and family who support and love me. And wow. I just feel very loved. So thank you all for the birthday texts/wishes from all my friends near and far. Sorry I haven’t responded to everyone so quickly but I promise I will be doing that tomorrow! Today has just been such a whirl! This is going to be my greatest year yet. So excited for the future!!!!
Two things about this picture. One: If you look very closely you can see my attempt at growing a beard. This was almost 3 weeks of growing. I found out two things during this process. 1.) I cant grow a beard. 2.) I have a half orange beard. So what does that make me? The second thing about this picture is, about 5 times a day I grab camper and put him on his back and make him lay down on me like the picture shows. And he loves it. Also there is a third thing I realized about this picture/caption. I used 7 different numbers exactly 15 times in this caption. Go check. Oh also the fourth thing I know about this picture is that you went back and counted the amount of numbers but you got it wrong because you forgot the numbers I used after I said go and check. Also this took me so freaking long counting all these numbers. Have fun. (Btw the answer really is 15, I just made two number’s very hard TO spot). And that’s your only clue.
People have been asking me lately what I have been up to. And this picture sums it up. This is my greatest passion. Being a husband and a dad (eventually a human dad). It’s crazy how I turned into a dad. But I am straight up a dad. I text like a dad. Dress like a dad -meaning I put on the closest thing to me on a hanger in my closet. Think like a dad. So where have I been lately? I have been in a cocoon. I was once a caterpillar, but I have been hibernating and slowly transforming into a beautiful dad butterfly. But now I’m wiggling out of my cocoon. Ready to break free and have the whole world see my beautiful dad wings. Along with just becoming a man my creative taste has changed and matured. To be specific, I have been working on a large scale passion project that will revealed this year and when it does, I am going to show it off, then drop the mic with my huge dad butterfly wings like: . And everyone is gonna be like: “ OH MY GOD! I thought he was this like this really funny and cool caterpillar, but no, he was a butterfly this whole dang time!!! Whhhhaaaa?!?!!” Then I am going to flutter away like. Yeah. Call me daddy.
I love this tiny little Bee . Me and Kristin just posted a video of this little girl growing up everyday. If you haven’t watched yet, link is in my bio! Some things to possibly expect. Her barking and whining a lot. Not wanting to walk on her leash. And eating things she is not supposed to.
This is a tiny silent film called “Late For The Date.” It depicts something that happens often in this household. We plan a date night. I don’t see Kristin for a while cause she likes to “ take her time” to get ready. And while she is putting on the Time and Tru line, I don’t start getting ready cause she is going to take way longer than me. Then when it’s time to go, I totally forget because I got busy digging a whole hole or something ridiculous. Then Kristin usually has to dress me. But now I know that with the George line from @walmart I can pick anything and and look good in a flash, even for a date. So Kristin won’t be upset waiting for me #sponsored. #timeandtru#walmart#linkinbio
When you don’t have to think about what to wear, other daily struggles become much easier (like wrangling two hounds for a walk). Granted, this would be much easier if honey didn’t have a phobia of her leash. It’s impossible to walk with her. You know the classic video of the dog laying down being dragged by the harness. That is her every time. Also I have never owned a pair a shorts that were stretchy that don’t look stretchy. And man is that a life saver. I rip my pants constantly from going too hard at life. Like for example, my wedding night. I dropped it low one time and boom. It was done. And I loved those pants too. What a shame. But oh no... not these ones. George from @walmart has got it covered. #sponsored#george#linkinbio
We are off to Lake Tahoe for the weekend for a family ski trip. Camper and honey have never seen snow and I know they are going to love it! But man they are so restless in this car. We can usually get camper to look at the camera but this was the best we could do. Honey is off somewhere in the car looking out the window. And we were just like, ok this pic will have to do for our family ski photo ♂️. If you are in Tahoe, you might see me shredding on the ski bike. Feel free to say hi!
Gotta swipe when I say. (Step 1) Recognize you don't have any clothes, and you share some of a closet with your wife. SWIPE. (Step 2) Push all her nonsense to the side so you can get to your clothes. SWIPE. (Step 3) Grab that no nonsense classic plaid pattern from @walmart that is always on point. SWIPE. (Step 4) Look good in that shirt. You deserve it. But also you get in trouble for calling your wife's clothes nonsense. Still worth it though #sponsored#george
This is a picture that you would see in the back of a photo album of your parents while they were at Disney World when they first got married. You would look at this picture and say, wow, who are these people? And hopefully not say... “they looked so happy”. Jk. But you would probably say, wow, Dad is such a goof and always was. Then you would think to yourself, man, the world was so different back then. And my parents are just a different breed of people. There is no way to relate. But the shame is we are the exact same son. Come home. Your mother and I miss you. Then I look into his eyes and said “Son you are not real, I made you up for this Instagram photo, I never loved you.” But don’t worry, I will love my real kids. Love you kids Mom and Dad.
Happy 1 year anniversary beautiful wife. I love you so much. Today’s video takes the place of my usual long winded insta captions. I wrote a song for Kristin as her present. Link in my bio .
For this picture I am doing an experiment and I am letting Kristin caption it. Ok here’s Kristin’s caption for today: “Okay I’m in the middle of editing a video right now but also I feel a little honored that Marcus is letting me write this. It’s weird to see him with a buzz cut - it feels like so long ago that he got his hair buzzed but also it feels like just yesterday. I think he looks cutie both ways. Let’s all vote - buzzie or no buzzie. All he just looks all around handsome in this (but what can I say...I just sent him this picture so he would have a one to post) okay that’s my input for today ”
Best friend. Happy Valentine’s Day. Do you guys want to know how cool @kristinjohns is? Today I woke up, and she hugged me and I got so scared cause I was like “Oh no, I didn’t prepare for anything today!” And she said seriously don’t worry about it. I don’t want anything. And it wasn’t a, oh don’t worry about it hint* hint* kinda thing. She was really just like, I could care less I have everything I need. And I could truly feel her just wanting to be reassuring and nice to me. She didn’t make me feel bad about totally dropping the ball for today. And I quite honesty I probably deserved it. (Granted, our 1 year anniversary is in 4 days, and she knows I’m good for it ) I really think our relationship has grown to a certain point of true love and understanding. We don’t keep these super high unrealistic expectations of each other that I would say characterize a lot of new budding relationships. We are just a really good flowing team now, and it feels really good. Marriage is such a good institution and I highly recommend it (if you can find a kristin). I know for a fact I am not articulating this a good as a want to right now, but key things to take away are: kristin is awesome, and I am making up for today with our anniversary. Love you Kris.