Marcus Johns@marcusjohns

Jesus first 🙏🏼

1,648 posts 1,056,592 followers 350 following

The first picture is the one kristin expects me to post. The second is the one I actually want to post. But I think somewhere in the middle is where the perfect picture probably lies. Unfortunately, that picture doesn’t exist. But I’m sure you can image, it’s a little bit goofy, a little bit put together. And I think that is me and Kristin put together in a nutshell. We definitely balance each other out. ☯️. Still been having diarrhea lately. I think it’s something more than milk. Will keep you updated.


Just me and Kris. Sharing a milkshake. Except I didn’t really drink it because I am lactose intolerant. I found that out at 24 years old. After years of acne, farting all the time and constant diarrhea, one day I cut out all milk and I was a different human being. It’s insane how changing one tiny thing will make your life completely different. But you don’t know what you don’t know 🤷‍♂️. God I miss milk.


This is one of those “nice pictures” that you need to take for social media. Really drawing a blank here on what to caption it. Do I dissect my appearance or where I am looking. What I could be thinking? I don’t know. Just developing my thoughts as I type this. Oh, here’s a thought: I got those shoes for free! Mabye I can talk about how I never buy new clothes ever but rather “acquire them”. Eh no, I’m not feeling that idea. Let me click on the picture and look at it again, be right back... ok I’m back. I even zoomed in on different parts of the picture and really couldn’t get anything going. Mabye I feel uninspired because at the end of the day, it was solely taken to be posted on Instagram. No real story behind it. Ah, that’s it, a picture without a story... also right before I posted this, I ask Kristin for @jonsams.jpg handle, because he took this picture and she noticed I spelled maybe wrong. So I just left it there for your enjoyment. It’s amazing how this photo is slowly starting to get more of a story. All you have to do is write your thoughts. Then you look back and say wow! Look at this caption. I guess I did have something to say after all. I feel like this is a big problem for me. Just getting started sometimes. But once I start I can’t stop. How do I cure this? I JUST NEED TO START. I’m such a procrastinator. Anyways, this concludes, welcome into Marcus’ ADHD brain. See you next time here on Instagram. When Kristin says “hey you need to post a picture”.. and I go “oh yeah... I was busy working of three wheelers, or a Geo tracker, or writing a song.” Speaking of which, 😊.


Phone dying. Must post... can’t write long cap. Got to decorate two trees with kris at parents. Imagine long funny caption. Merry x mas.


Ok I don’t have a ton of time to do my usual long winded captions because I am busy working on all my three wheelers in Florida having to much fun. But here is what my “Instagram” caption is for this pic: SUPERMODEL WIFE? CHECK✔️. There, done. Now I can get back to enjoying my Florida christmas. Like I am so in a hurry to be done writing this that I am not proof reading this puppy, so enjoy my typos. Love you. Merry Christmas. Also love you @kristinjohns. Three wheelers... 📸 @jonsams.jpg


We are ready for Christmas! 😄👌🏻
Going home to Florida should be so much fun. Expect a lot a three wheeler riding, wake boarding and doing stupid things with friends down south. #FloridaBoy #561 #PalmBeach

Also while you were reading this caption^^, did you notice that I said “A lot a” and think it was weird? Or did you kinda read it with a southern accent like “a-lott-a”
And just keep moving on. So weird because kristin was like, “you need to change your caption, there is a typo!” Which I ALWAYS have so nbd, but I couldn’t find it for a minute... because the way I said it in my head was supposed to be “a-lott-a” so I was like, yep, nothing wrong here. Of course I know it’s wrong but... yeah. Just wondering. I probably said that because I was talking about being down south and three wheelers and it just naturally came outta me. I think I just did it again 🤔Anyways I fixed it.


Ever since we got these dogs all me and Kristin call each other is Mom and Dad. It’s like when we are around the kids, we refer to each other by what they would call us, but when we are by ourselves we revert back to just Marcus and Kristin. However sometimes when it’s still just us I call Kristin Mom in public and people are probably just like 🤔? 😂 #slowlyturningintoHULKdad


You guys know I gotta smell good for all of my ladies 😉 (Kristin and Honey obviously). So this holiday season be an original gift giver with the @originalpenguin Original Blend. #BeAnOriginal #Thisismynewsmell #Bothmygirlslikeit #ad


We found her. And oh baby she’s a beaut. Every year my family would go out to pick a Christmas tree and it would always be an argument on which one we should get. However this year, I got to pick out my very own Christmas tree for my house with Kristin. It feels good to be the boss. I get to decide what tree I want. Because, my house my rules. -Man what a Dad line...I never really thought this would be true about myself, but my ultimate goal in life is to be a Dad. Everyday I feel myself turning into one. I just randomly say Dad jokes and one liners and Kristin rolls her eyes. But something just happens to you as you get older. It’s like a super power that you can’t control. And then one day you just turn into HULK Dad. On step at a time. This step was the tree. 🎄


Thankful for this tiny one right here. 📜Behind the pic (BTP): kristin said, “you should do one of your really good captions for this photo”. I think she thinks I’m good at captions now, which is good news! Also on this picture, I called “dibs” on it, because whenever we take a picture together Kristin will use it for something and I won’t get to have one. So today she asked me, do you want “dibs on this picture?” And I said “yes”. So, thanks for letting me call dibs on picture babe. Which ties back to the official caption about being thankful.... see how it came full circle? I’m good at captions🤪.


The Tracker is coming around finally with the new lift and tires, and she is a beast! Me and my sister @shelbyajohns went to an off-road area and everyone stopped us asking us “what is that thing?!!” “Cool car!” 😄🙌 A lot of you guys don’t know how building cars and DIY projects are one of my biggest hobbies but I never thing to post videos about it! Should I post a vlog about building this Geo tracker? 🚙
Let me know in the comments! 👇


Kristin just hacked my Instagram, posted this picture, and put a caption trying to knock my caption game, because she is jealous. But it will not work. For I have grown a lot in my caption writing game. - The real Marcus.